*Note: All back issues have been editted by 13erla
These edits have been done to help combat email spam
News-Sound of the Month-Silly Little Bios-Interview-Trivia-Games-Quotes-Standup-Spoofs-Food Trivia
June 10, 2003
The Monthly Seinfeld E-mail Newsletter
And Internet Newsletter: Sein Language Online!
(For NON AOL Subscribers!)
(will be on later TUESDAY night)
If you have received this newsletter directly from Seinfeld10|at|aol.com, you are on the mailing list, to be removed, Click here, then click yes. To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
I have a Mailing List...
All I send you is: upcoming episodes for the next 2 weeks.
(Great idea for those of you who are taping the show!)
To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
Remember: Those who don't have AOL, can click:
Sein Language Online!
(will be on later TUESDAY night)
NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!
Hey everyone! I hope everyone is doing great, and have a wonderful Memorial weekend. Looks like we are getting closer to summer time, I can feel the heat already. It's been so hot here lately in Miami, and been storming here alot as well. We are now in hurricane season, ugh. Well, it looks like there is no more Watching Ellie, boo hoo, lol. I didn't care for it at all, so I am not disappointed. Ah, American Idol - way to go Ruben. Come on guys, I know you are watched the final!! lol. No matter who was the ultimate winner, I think they all did a great job. Um, what else, oh... Jerry was on Leno 2 weeks ago. Looked great, he always does. He didn't mention Julia or her show, or anyone else for that matter (on the show). He appeared on the stage and said, "I appear before you as a father and as a husband, and I know it didn't look like it was going that way, but it did. And I'm happy!" (Well, he should be!). He talked about his kids and his wife..for example with his kids..."Why would you want someone in your house who craps in their pants and looks in your eye?!"...."And they lie! How does a 2 year old know how to lie?!" What else, um..."Being married, love it, love my wife, but living with the woman - tone of voice...big problem!" Stated how a males tone will change in the relationship. He did his famous tone bit. "Speaking in an incorrect tone. My what? Your tone. My tone? Yes, your tone!" (E-mail me if you want the full bit). Then he sat with Leno for a few minutes. Jerry mentioned how today (May 14th) marked the 5th year anniversay of the final episode. He was very excited about that. He then talked about his mom, who is in her 80's. "She goes in hospitals and walks out." Then Leno asked if he's a biker. And Jerry said, "No, I'm a cyclist. I'm fit and look good." And of course (from the picture) Leno remarked about Jerry's "tight" pants. Um, he talked about his underwear. Said that the underwear he's been wearing for 21 years is off the market. This NY dept store is no longer making them, and he's in search to find a good pair. They were slit cut boxers. What he wants from his underwear, "We want support and freedom from our underwears." And then he spent a couple minutes talkng about his movie, the release of it. That's about all there...
The Game section is going to be alittle different for a couple months. Berla is going to be giving out a very sweet prize. A few, in fact. I can't tell you what it is, but details will be on his site, which you have to go to, to see "the deal." It's well worth it, so GO! Go now! Seinology.com. (His contest starts THIS newsletter!!)
MONKS MENUS! That's right, and you can get them here! These are not the originals, they are replicas. The going price for these menus are $25, but the first 15 people who buy them, will only be charged $20. Please e-mail djbrown|at|flash.net with any questions you may have, along with picture samples. Please put COSMO on the subject line.
If you're interested in the DVD, please e-mail customdvd|at|gamebox.net, and put COSMO on the subject line.
For those of you who are music fans or who are looking at getting into the music biz, check out www.InsideTheMusicBusiness.com they have tools for success - and it's run by a Seinfeld fan, Eric Kline.
MANY MANY MANY of you are asking me for Seinfeld episodes on tape. Now, I do have them, but I am not selling them nor taping them. I do not have the time. Sorry. However, there is a way we may be able to help, thanks to Chris. He made a so-called "trading club on yahoo." This is a great way for people from all over to trade/sell with one another. Here's the link:
Seinfeld Video Exchange
Wishing you a happy b-day!
Sein Language would like to wish YOU a Happy Birthday!
If you would like to receive a birthday greeting on your special day, please e-mail Seinfeld10|at|aol.com (or click here) with your first name and your b-day.
If anyone has any news on Seinfeld or comments on the newsletter, we would love to hear them!
Sound Of The Month
Hey Seinfeld fans! Summer is quickly approaching which means that most of you will have plenty of time to catch all those Seinfeld episodes that are on TV now! In watching all these episodes we really find out what a bad temper Jerry has when it comes to his comedy tapes. Have a great month!
What sound would you like to see featured?
E-mail me and I'll try my best!
Top Ten Phrases/Sayings
10) Hey Buddy
9) Yo Yo Ma
8) That's a Shame
7) Sweet Fancy Moses!
5) Hoochie Mama
4) It's Go Time
3) Serenity Now
2) Get Out!
1) Giddy Up
Do you have of a good top ten idea you'd like for me to do, please e-mail me!
Site of the Month
Ideal place to go for your Comedian info. A little out of date, this site
features some great original videos as well as some stuff featured on the
Comedian DVD. Give this place a good look.
The Stand In
Last Month By: Stephie0385
This Month By: Stranger34|at|aol.com
Which season of Seinfeld was your favorite, and why?
Mine is Season 5 because most of the best episodes were during that season, such as The Marine Biologist, The Hamptons, and The Opposite.
I liked season 9 because of the episodes the serenity now, the strike, the frogger, the maid and the dealership.
I don't know what the difference is. I was too impressed with the first.
Season 4, I liked seeing Jerry and George write their script. It was also the season that gave the show the kick it needed to go to Must-See Thursday.
Probably go with season 4 because it ends on that down note of the show "Jerry" not getting picked up. Also it includes maybe the most memorable episodes of the entire series.
Stranger34 chose to write an article.
The Seinfeld Void
I used to look forward to Thursdays. Thursday night was Seinfeld night. For half an hour once a week all my troubles disappeared. I found myself completely absorbed in the Seinfeldian world. For 30 minutes Newman was my arch-nemesis, Kramer was my annoying but lovable neighbor, Elaine was my friend with whom the line between love interest and platonic friend was most definitely blurred, George was my loser friend, and so on so forth.
I am one of those people who have a very hard time getting into a sitcom. throughout my 19 years of life I have fallen in love with very few sitcoms. The list consists of Seinfeld, Cheers, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Wonder Years, Happy Days, and of course the greatest sitcom ever (shielding my face) the Honeymooners. Seinfeld was always special though. Aside from "Curb" I had missed the boat on the others. The others were either already put to rest or on their last legs by the time I was old enough to appreciate them. I never had the chance to see a new Honeymooners episode every week, or experience Cheers that way when it was the best show on television. Granted, i could see episodes I had never seen before every night on WPIX, but its not the same as experiencing a sitcom still in its glory, still developing week by week. Seinfeld was my first love in that sense.
In 1998 the love affair ended. The last Seinfeld was broadcast and while I could always relive the magic in syndication,
there was no denying the situation comedy void that ensued. After a year or so of syndication I was tired of Seinfeld. I needed a new show to capture my imagination. But there was a problem, Seinfeld is a tough act to follow. First, I tried Friends. For those of you who have seen Friends and Seinfeld, you know just how poorly Friends compares. It's lame and trendy. Friends, in a word, Sucks. Next I tried Drew Carrey. I found Drew Carrey to be the typical mid-western American bore. It follows in the tradition of Roseanne and Home Improvement. Then there were the awful spinoffs. I don't even remember the names of the ones for Michael Richards and Jason Alexander. Maybe it's better that way... Julia's isn't awful but it certainly hasn't filled the void. For four years I had no living sitcom to fill the void of Seinfeld. The closest any show ever came was Survivor II, also aired on Thursdays. Don't let anyone tell you any different, Survivor was a sitcom. But Survivor got old quick and the void emerged again. No new words to enter my daily lingo. No new landmarks to check out in NYC. Where have you gone Jerry Seinfeld? a nation turns it's lonely eyes to you.
Then it happened. I was shocked to see a spinoff be so different, yet so much the same. Bur before getting too excited I knew I must curb my enthusiasm. However, after 2 seasons I am ready to pronounce Curb Your Enthusiasm the heir to the crown. This show, although it airs on Sunday, is the first new sitcom that can amply fill the seinfeld void. No, it's not as good. But, its almost as good. The show takes the menutia of everyday relationships to a level not even Seinfeld could attain. In many ways it's more awkward, more obnoxious, and at times funnier than Seinfeld. It's only failing is in the characters and actors. They don't hold a candle to Seinfeld cast. It's nice to have all the guest appearances by Ted Danson, Richard Lewis, and of course the Seinfeld players, but it also causes the show to be somewhat inconsistent and "special" like rather than a long-term sitcom.
So what is this article about? Nothing. All I'm trying to say is that if you are like me, which is to say you had trouble finding a new show after Seinfeld closed shop., you may want to give Curb Your Enthusiasm shot. Hail Hail Larry David.
If you would like to do the Stand In section, please e-mail me!
News Guys' lists
Hello Sein fans! My name is Mike, some call me the News Guy. I have a web page: NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists compiled of different listings, with much help and thanks to the many members of the newsgroup, alt.tv.seinfeld. These include cars that were mentioned on the show, the clothes worn, the crimes that occurred, the food eaten, the movies that were watched, and so on. I also have an episode guide and a lot of scripts! I would like to compile more to the site with your help. And of course if you have any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to hear them.
Food played an important part in the themes and plot development of many Seinfeld episodes. We can all remember "Mutton", Junior Mints", etc. But "Coffee" was also a consistent theme. Can you think of any more episodes where "Coffee" played an important role. My favorite was Bookman's request for Folger's Crystals..
Coffee Anyone? Where coffee was shown or mentioned as a plot device.
So please e-mail me with any COFFEE references that you can think of: Mike by Wed, July 2nd.
Check back soon on NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists to see the results.
Silly Little Bios
This person we never see however we hear a lot about his life. He had the most exquisite hands until George started modeling. However he was not "master of his domain" and "the muscles became so strained with, overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. He traveled the world seeking a cure.. acupuncturists.. herbalists.. swamis.. nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him." However George has a little more self control than this model, because as we know, he won a contest! Who is this model?
Do you know who this is? If so E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, July 2nd.
The Lucky Person is...
Kenny Kramer got interviewed this month!
(Ivy for this month)
This month we have a special interview, Kenny Kramer. He has been the host of Kramer's Reality Tour for 7 years. It's here where Kenny relies on his stand-up experience to entertain people from all over the world with the behind-the-scenes Seinfeld story. Some interesting tidbits...Kenny has never been arrested for lobster poaching, done community service to pay off a crime, or stolen cable. He lives in NY, and owns a car. He has never wanted to be a fireman as a child or as an adult. He plays golf and has a hot tub in his apartment. He does not want to be an actor and has never tried the DaVinci sleep pattern. He thinks Seinfeld was the greatest show on television, loves to make people laugh, and enjoys what he does. Enjoy the interview. :o)
Ivy: How long have you been giving tours of NYC?
Kenny: On Jan 27th (2003) we celebrated our 7 year anniversary.
Ivy: Do you do anything else besides giving tours?
Kenny: I have stage versions of the tour, which I do at colleges, theaters, and corporate events. I'm up for anything that deals with entertaining.
Ivy: What is your favorite place to visit on the tour?
Kenny: 5 months a year its the soup kitchen, that's how often it's open.
Ivy: Where exactly do you go on the tour?
Kenny: It starts of in the theater where I do about an hour of stand up, then on the bus where I give the tour. I don't like to tell people where I am taking them; I like for it to be a surprise.
Ivy: When you're done giving tours of NYC, what do you plan on doing next?
Kenny: I would like to open up a comedy club in Maui. It would be a great change. It's beautiful there and Maui needs a good comedy club. And I would still keep my apartment in NY.
Ivy: How long have you known Larry David?
Kenny: We met in 1974. We were both doing stand up at a comedy club (Catch a Rising Star, which no longer exists). A few of us were auditioning and went out. He and I became great friends, and in 1977 we moved into the same building. For 6 years he lived across the hall from me.
Ivy: How did it feel to have someone play you in a sitcom?
Kenny: I don't think he was playing me, just a character that is based on me.
Ivy: Are any of the episodes based on actual events that have happened to you, like the Hot Tub, Make your own pizza?
Kenny: Well, a lot of the episodes are, you can find all that out on my tour. Like the episode, The Tape, the hair growing tonic. Larry and I really did that. We called China, for a hair growing product. - A lot of those things happened in real life; who the characters are based on, people Larry knows.
Ivy: What is your favorite episode?
Kenny: The Contest. It was hilariously funny. Four people on national television, prime-time, to see who can go the longest without masturbating; without using the 'M' word.
Ivy: What did you really think about the show?
Kenny: Funniest show ever on television. So smart, revealing, dark. A wonderful piece of work. Great acting; makes it the most popular show in television history.
Ivy: Do you keep in touch with anyone from the show?
Kenny: I still talk to Larry on a regular basis. Sometimes I run into Jerry from time to time. And I saw Jerry Stiller a few weeks ago.
Ivy: Who is your favorite character on the show?
Kenny: Besides Kramer, I would have to say George because he is based on Larry.
Ivy: Who is your favorite non main character?
Kenny: Maestro was very funny, Mr. Pitt was also great. Newman was fabulous and Morty Seinfeld also very very funny. Jerry Stiller was amazing and who could not love Puddy?!
Ivy: What do you think of Larry's show, CYE?
Kenny: Funniest show on television, I haven't missed an episode!
Ivy: What did you think about the episode (The Muffin Tops) where Kramer goes on a reality tour of Peterman?
Kenny: I thought it was great, very flattering. It was based on my tour, and they spoofed it very well. I was thrilled it happened because it was great publicity for me.
Ivy: Why was the character "Kramer" called Kessler in the pilot? AND When were you approached about using your last name OR Were you asked?
Kenny: When they made the pilot, they didn't know if the show would ever air. I had not yet made a deal with NBC/Castlerock so they could not call the character Kramer. When they made the first 4 episodes, I had agreed to license them the rights to base the character on me and call him Kramer.
Kenny's tour takes you around NYC's popular Seinfeld sites; like Monks, the office building where Elaine worked for Pendant Publishing, and the Soup Kitchen. For those of you who have taken a tour OR don't think you'll be in NY, but will like to see the tour, you can. The reality tour is now available on DVD, for a low price. Please go to KennyKramer.com, and click on DVD.
What to be the next person to be interviewed?
Send a e-mail to Berla
HEY, DO YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR TRIVIA QUESTIONS? SEND THEM TO ME!
****NOTE: ANSWERING JUST THE IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION DOES NOT MAKE YOU A TRIVIA MASTER, SO PLEASE RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, NOT JUST ONE QUESTION! IF YOU DON'T RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, I CAN'T GIVE YOU FULL CREDIT. (I WILL SEND BACK HINTS IF ANSWER(S) ARE INCORRECT, SO TAKE A SHOT). THANKS!
LAST MONTHS TRIVIA - FINAL EPISODE
1. Who did Elaine attempt to call numerous times in this episode?
2. What country did Elaine want to go to in this episode?
-Russia, Switzerland, or Paris
3. Where did the gang end up when the plane went down?
4. Which Cellblock did George end up in?
5. What was the last topic ever discussed?
-The top shirt button
What famous celebrity played Jay Crespi in the finale?
I mpossible Winners
THIS MONTHS TRIVIA- DRINKS
1. George's secret ATM code was this chocolatey drink.
2. What beverage did George think the gang should bring to the dinner party?
3. Elaine and Jerry offered the virgin what beverage to drink?
4. What drink did Kramer, Mickey, and their dates want to drink, but they were out of?
5. What drink did Jerry's visitor ask for in the pilot episode?
What drink did George order when him and Jerry met Elaine's dad?
Respond to the trivia by sending E-mail to Shem
Responses must be received
by Wed, July 2nd.
Remember: you need to get ALL trivia right!
Don't just answer one, if you need help, e-mail me and I'll be more than happy as to give you hints.
Celebrities on Seinfeld
What real-life friend of Jerry Seinfeld is in almost every Chris Rock movie as well, played Maroon Golf (Lamar) in 'The Puerto Rican Day' parade?
What star of such movies as Super Troopers, O Brother Where Art Thou, and The Faculty played George's boss at his final job on the show?
Send answers to: Chris
by Wed, July 2nd.
Remember the Time When...
Kramer was an underwear model?
Kramer: Alright, now here's the scoop, Jockey. I, uh, I came in here last January to talk to one of your ffflunkies..
Klein: Interesting face..
Kramer: Yeah.. And, um, when I told him my idea about the beach cologne, you know, he - he laughed at me.
Klein: You're very lithe, aren't you? Very graceful.
Kramer: Well, yeah.
Klein: Sit down, eh? You're very lean, but muscular..
Kramer: You know, I try to take care of myself. I - I watch what I eat. Ah, just recently I cut out fructose.
Klein: You're spectacular.
Woman: My.. he's sexual, athletic.. an' without a trace of self-consciousness!
Klein: His buttocks are sublime!
Man: Of course, his pectorals could use a little work - I suppose we could get him into the weight room.
Woman: No, let's get him in the studio today. We can send these out immediately.
If anyone has any ideas to make this better or moments that they want "remembered," e-mail me.
Ivy filling in
Last Month's Question:
2 polls.....1) Are you like Jerry where you put the chocolate syrup in first or like Elaine and put the milk in first (The Dog)? and 2) If you were Elaine, and you were watching Jerry's apartment (while he was away), and the apartment were to catch on fire, what ONE item would you save for Jerry and why?
1) I put the milk in first because it works better that way.
2) I would save Jerry's Superman collectables because they are probably the most important thing to him.
1) Put the milk in first.
2) Save the TV.
1) I'm like jerry - I put the chocolate syrup in first, because I have to make sure I put in just the right amount. If the milk is in the cup first - how can u tell how much syrup you've put in?
2) his suede jacket - pre-ruination, b/c it's probably the most expensive thing in there.
1) Chocolate first, better control.
2) The Superman statue. Jerry's life revolves around him.
1) I would put the milk in first like Elaine.
2) I'd save his baseball cap because he liked the game so much and had to be forced to leave the game when the Mets were down 9 - 0.
1) Chocolate first because then when you pour in the milk it partially mixes it as you pour.
2) This is very episode specific. Because depending on what time period you base that you are in Jerry's apartment you have to question what is there at that time. If it were around the time that jerry received the Fusilli version of him that might be a cool thing to save.
This Month's Question:
Who is your favorite MAIN character on Seinfeld?
please click your favorite one
Send all poll responses to: Ivy
by Wed, July 2nd.
Note: The Seinfeld NL writers have the right to edit any poll responses that we do not feel are appropriate for the Newsletter.
Do you know of a poll you would like seen on here?
E-mail me and let me know!
Did you know? Seinfacts!
Shem filling in
In the episode where Kramer makes a hole in one in a whale---the man's voice in the crowd that calls out "Is anybody a Marine Biologist" was none other than Larry David, creator of Seinfeld.
Submitted by DKP1985|at|aol.com
"The Contest" and "The Fix Up" both won Emmy's for best comedy writing.
Frank Costanza has been played by two different actors; Jerry Stiller and John Randolph.
Jerry had a three episode run on the comedy show "Benson" from 1980-1981.
The first episode Newman appeared in was "The Suicide."
Have a fact? Please e-mail me!
I transfered all my new stand up on my other computer, which is at someones elses house. And I still haven't got it back yet, because I'm getting a new hard drive. Next newsletter will have double the stand up.
Last month's Quote Finisher
"If every instinct you have is wrong..."
"...then the opposite would have to be right."
This Month's Quote Locator
"I know the chunky that left these chunkies... NEWMAN!"
Send answers to: Shem
by Wed, July 2nd.
Seinfeld's Good Manners
If there is cleavage in the area, do not stare at it for a long period of time.
If you double park somebody in, leave a note.
George - Sleeping under his desk
Elaine - Using a janitor's closet so she could order food
Kramer - Using butter as shaving cream
George - Moving the frogger machine to the other side of the road
Terms & Phrases
Sponge-worthy - worthy of having sex with
What did George try to take from the police car in "The Trip, Part 2"?
What items cost Jerry $11 even though he did not order them?
Send Food Answers to: Oyeniran by Wed, June 25th.
Please - no descriptions (if asked the name of an episode).
Send me the episode title.
Here's an episode guide that may help (Episode List)
This Month Cont.
The Script is still going around.
It's more than half way done...
If you would like to add a line, please e-mail me (Ivy) and let me know! :o)
1 - jujy fruits
2 - toilet paper
3 - golf ball
4 - paris
5 - cinnamon
6 - damn
7 - puffy shirt
8 - thirty
9 - Latvian Orthodox
10 - pie
The Game section is going to be alittle different for a couple months. I will be giving out a very sweet prize. A few, in fact. Details will be on my site, which you have to go to, to see "the deal." It's well worth it, so GO! Go now! Seinology.com.
Answer ALLLL the questions. The final question is an add on. So please try it. You will only get credit for completion if all 10 questions are answered. Some are easy some are hard. Email me if you get stuck.
1. What is the secret code?
2. Why does Mr. Pitt miss the Poland Creek Bottled Water meeting?
3. When did Susan Ross die? (date)
4. What is the first nickname George acquires?
5. Who does Jerry go to the Super Bowl with?
6. How long was Kramer on strike for?
7. What does Kramer tell George to put on his "mooching inventory" tab?
8. Which episode introduces Pennypacker, Vandelay, and Varnsen to each
9. What would you get from Pisano's if you were part of the Seinfeld
10. What does Elaine think is an image of Mr. Magoo?
EXTRA CREDIT SUPER BONUS QUESTION:
How do all these episode tie together?
Hint: John Houseman
E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, July 2nd.
In the Dealership, George claims to be hungry. He aslo claims the mechanic stole his twix bar. At the end of the episode George has a candy line up, where he has nothing, but twix bars. Now, if he was so hungry, why did he waste them for the candy line up and eat them all for himself?! That makes no sense!
In "The Stock Tip," Elaine makes a big deal about Jerry ordering tuna because they die in the nets. However, in another episode, Elaine admits that she is a vegetarian, but eats fish occasionally because they don't feel any pain.
Vinney's Picks (or No Pick)
"It's common sense! Everyone knows, you've got to keep your worlds apart"! - George
"Oh, I'm looking right at you Big Daddy." - Kramer
From the Fans
"The library cop is actually named Bookman, that's like an ice cream driver named Cone. " - Kramer. (from RUDY4523|at|aol.com)
"If I am curt, then I apologize." - Newman (from five55_filk|at|hotmail.com)
"Mulva?" -George. What was Mulva's real name?
Dolores- rhymes with...
"I know Jerry. He's not a Nazi. He's just neat."- Kramer
What was the Nazi's name?
E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, July 2nd.
Dr Kramer's Page
The Bizarro World
Ivy's Seinfeld Page
Ian's Seinfeld Scripts
Swisher's Seinfeld Site
The End (A Seinfeld script)
What Went Wrong - And How It Should Have Ended
The Seinfeld Archiv
Matt's Seinfeld Sounds
Yahoo! Groups : jldfans
NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists
Have a Seinfeld Page?
Submit it to Sein Language, the weekly Seinfeld newsletter!
Do you have any ideas to make this newsletter better and fresher? A new section, maybe? A contest, perhaps? A weekly chat? A new design or page layout? Anything! E-mail it to me at
Ivy Chris Vinney Shem
Jonathan Oyeniran Mike Berla