*Note: All back issues have been editted by 13erla
These edits have been done to help combat email spam
News-Sound of the Month-Silly Little Bios-Interview-Trivia-Games-Quotes-Standup-Spoofs-Food Trivia
April 24, 2003
Top Ten Materials/Fabrics
The Monthly Seinfeld E-mail Newsletter
And Internet Newsletter: Sein Language Online!
I have a Mailing List...
All I send you is: upcoming episodes for the next 2 weeks.
(Great idea for those of you who are taping the show!)
To be added (If you are not already on)Click here, then click yes.
NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!
Hey guys! Doing good on my end, watching too many of these reality shows lately, lol. I think I'm addicted to them, hehe. Nothing too new here. I would just like to wish everyone a late Happy Passover & Happy Easter. Can't wait for the 50% off candy! LOL. Anyways, hope all is well with everyone.
Oh, to the millions who E-mailed me back....last months newsletter was an April Fools prank. There is no Mandy and Stan, lol. No DVD. No "Death Blow" episode. What else? lol... I can't believe how many people responded back, and to the people who gave me answers to the trivia questions, oh my, shame on you guys. You know who you are, hehe. I love how I can do that every so often and still get away with it.
Would like to wish an early Happy Birthday to Jerry Seinfeld who will be 49 on April 29th. And a belated birthday to Liz Sheridan (Helen Seinfeld), who played Jerry's Mom on the show. Her birthday was April 10th. If you would like to send her a birthday greeting, please e-mail HuntingtonM10|at|aol.com. They will make sure she gets the message!
The Game section is going to be alittle different for a couple months. Get this! Berla, my writer, is going to be giving out a very sweet prize. A few, in fact. I can't tell you what it is, but details will be on his site, which you have to go to, to see "the deal." It's well worth it, so GO! Go now! Seinology.com
If you're interested in the DVD, please e-mail customdvd|at|gamebox.net, and put COSMO on the subject line. Oh, and this just in from a Sein Fan: he has a magazine found at http://www.metalrulesmagazine.com where he has a 7 page brand new interview with Mark Metalcalf "The Maestro!" Please e-mail metaljef|at|yahoo.com with any questions you may have. The interview is $5.
We got a Sein Fan who is in desperate need of your help! He is in highschool
and needs to write a paper for school. It's an episode after the final, a
post-Seinfeld script. He needs your help! Any ideas would be greatly
appreciative! Please e-mail him right away at: <A
Watching Ellie Schedule - NBC (9:30PM)
Apr 29 Tuesday - Date (Readying for a hot date, Ellie looks forward to a great night. Missing Ellie, Ben foresees a rough night. One of them is right).
May 6 Tuesday - Buskers (A Metro station makes an unlikely but lucrative underground venue for Ellie, singing duets with Ben of John Denver classics, including Thank God I'm a Country Boy.)
I know this has nothing to do with Seinfeld, but I found this very interesting and shocking. Did you know that last year alone over 75 million people had no health insurance? I found this great deal on line www.usahealthadvantage.com. They offer health care for you and your entire family for only $19.95 a month!! It covers all pre-existing conditions, no claim forms, no waiting period, no health restrictions, and you can cancel at any time! *Major medical services and doctor visits. *Dental prescriptions, vision care, and plenty more!! Well over 600,000 health care facilities. *Registered nurse hotline available 24/7. Just call 1-800-315-6438 and ask for WALTER!! Make sure you tell him I sent you!!! If you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me as well.
For those of you who are music fans or who are looking at getting into the
music biz, check out www.InsideTheMusicBusiness.com they have tools for success - and it's run
by a Seinfeld fan, Eric Kline.
MANY MANY MANY of you are asking me for Seinfeld episodes on tape. Now, I do
have them, but I am not selling them nor taping them. I do not have the time.
Sorry. However, there is a way we may be able to help, thanks to Chris. He
made a so-called "trading club on yahoo." This is a great way for people from
all over to trade/sell with one another. Here's the link: Seinfeld Video Exchange
Wishing you a happy b-day! Sein Language would like to wish YOU a Happy Birthday!
If you would like to receive a birthday greeting on your special day, please
e-mail click here with your first name and your b-day.
If anyone has any news on Seinfeld or comments on the newsletter, we would
love to hear them!
Sound Of The Month
Hey SeinFans! This week's sound of the week is a hilarious quote by
George about why he refuses to carry a pen. Keep up watching all those hilarious Seinfeld episodes.
What sound would you like to see featured?
E-mail me and I'll try my best!
George: Hey, did you know that the Yankees don't wear cotton jerseys?
Jerry: Of course, they're polyester.
George: Well, what is that? That's a crime! Do you know how hot those things get? They should be wearing cotton.
Jerry: Why do they wear polyester?
George: I don't know. That's all gonna change.
Frank: Why, so he'll go to the interview and he wouldn't know what he's talking about?
George: Do we have to...?
Frank: You don't even know what they're made from.
George: They are made from lycra-spandex.
Frank: Get out of here! Lycra-spandex?
Estelle: I think they are made from lycra-spandex.
Frank: Wanna bet? How much you wanna bet?
Estelle: I'm not betting!
Peterman: That shirt. Where did you get it?
Elaine: Oh, this innocent looking shirt has something which isn't innocent at all. Touchability! Heavy, silky Italian cotton, with a fine almost terrycloth like feeling. Five button placket, relaxed fit, innocence and mayhem at once.
Peterman: That's NOT bad!
George: Now, listen closely. I was at the unemployment office and I told them that I was very close to getting a job with Vandaley Industries and I gave them your phone number. So, when now when the phone rings you've got to answer "Vanadaley Industries".
Jerry: I'm Vanadaley Industries?
Jerry: And what is that?
George: You're in latex.
Jerry: Latex? And what do I do with latex?
George: Ya manufacture it.
Elaine: Here in this little apartment?
Jerry: And what do I say about you?
George: You're considering hiring me for your latex salesman.
Jerry: I'm going to hire you as my latex salesman?
Jerry: I don't think so. Why would I do that?
George: Because I asked you to.
Jerry: What is this? This is beautiful.. but these jackets never fit me right.
Elaine: Try it on. Wow, this is soft suede.
Jerry: This may be the most perfect jacket I have ever put on. How much is it?
Elaine: Oh my God.
Jerry: Bad? Very bad?
Elaine: You have no idea.
Jerry: I have some idea.
Elaine: No idea.
Jerry: I've got a ballpark.
Elaine: There is no park and the team has relocated.
Jerry: So, Puddy wear's a man fur?
Elaine: He was struttin' around the coffee shop like Stein Erickson.
Jerry: And, of course, you find fur morally reprehensible.
Elaine: Eh, anti-fur. I mean, who has the energy anymore? This is more about hanging off the arm of an idiot.
George: And this is the first you're seeing of the coat?
Elaine: We never dated in winter.
Elaine: What is that, ha?
Jerry: When did you get that?
George: This week. My father got a deal from a friend of his. It's Gore-Tex. You know about Gore-Tex?
Jerry: You like saying Gore-Tex, don't you?
Elaine: Oh.. I got denim vest checking me out. Fake phone number's coming out tonight.
Jerry: You have a standard fake?
Jerry: That's neat.
Elaine: No, please! Denim vest! He's smoothing it! Jerry! God!
Denim Vest: Hi!
Elaine: Nice vest. I like the.. big metal buttons.
Denim Vest: They're snaps. Listen, maybe we should, uh, go out some time?
Elaine: Why don't I give you my phone number?
Bonnie: Are you a velvet fan?
George: A fan? I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
Cleaning woman - When I was a little girl in Panama, a rich American came to our town and he was wearing the softest most beautiful sweater. I said to him, "What do you call this most beautiful fabric," and he said "they call it cashmere." I repeated the words "cashmere, cashmere." I asked if I could have it, and he said, "No. Get away from me." Then he started walk away. But I grabbed onto his leg screaming for him to give me the sweater and he dragged me through the street. And then he kicked at me with the other foot and threw some change at me. Oh, but I didn't want the change George. I wanted the cashmere.
Do you have of a good top ten idea you'd like for me to do, please e-mail me! Ivy
Site of the Month
Sprung up out of nowhere, this new Seinfeld site has become the top resource
for the Seinfeld Internet Community. It offers the only stand-alone message
board on the net for Seinfeld, a HUGE video and audio section, every script
for the show (only 40+ are considered accurate and complete) as well as a
phenomenal search feature allowing you to search everything from the
newsletters to the scripts. It is defiantly a place to check out for your fix of Seinfeld.
The Stand In
Last Month By: The Fantasy Man
This Month By: Stephie0385
Thanks again to Fantasy Man for the great quotes!
Stephie decided to do a poll. And it's a good one!
Which season of Seinfeld was your favorite, and why?
Please send all responses to Stephie0385
by May 21st
If you would like to do the Stand In section, please e-mail me! Ivy
News Guys' Lists
Hello Sein fans! My name is Mike, some call me the News Guy. I have a web
page: NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists
compiled of different listings, with much help
and thanks to the many members of the newsgroup, alt.tv.seinfeld. These
include cars that were mentioned on the show, the clothes worn, the crimes
that occurred, the food eaten, the movies that were watched, and so on. I
also have an episode guide and a lot of scripts! I would like to compile more
to the site with your help. And of course if you have any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to hear them.
For a show that was the definition of humour in the 1990's, "Seinfeld" did
little to recognize the COMPUTER revolution going on in society during that
time. I would say it was because the writers and producers were children of
an earlier time and were not themselves turned on by the cyber-revolution.
However there were a few references to COMPUTERS and modern electronic
devices in some episodes. Can you identify them?
So please e-mail me
with any COMPUTERS references that you can think of: by Wed, April 16th.
Check back soon on NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists
to see the results.
Silly Little Bios
What friend of Kramer who helped George on the Frogger plan is an electrician
and stole a battery to help complete the job?
Do you know who this is? If so E-mail
me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, May 21st.
The Lucky Person is...
EpiphanyOfOne got interviewed this month!
ultimateberla: E.O.O. I'd like to thank you for taking some time to be interviewed this month.
EpiphanyOfOne: You're most certainly welcome, I just love reading the Newsletter and can't wait to see my interview in it.
ultimateberla: Awesome, what would you say is your favorite season of Seinfeld?
EpiphanyOfOne: I guess I'd have to go with season 4.
EpiphanyOfOne: It had the biggest up and down to it I think. Since it ended on a such a down note.
ultimateberla: Right the cancellation of a show that had just aired.
EpiphanyOfOne: Exactly, also it holds my favorite episode, The Stand-in
ultimateberla: "he took it out"
EpiphanyOfOne: LOL, "first you crack then you chuckle" Jerry under-pressure with one person as his audience is just great.
ultimateberla: No doubt. I understand you've subscribed to the newsletter for quite some time. Is there anything you miss as it's been distributed over the years?
EpiphanyOfOne: Nothing really, well maybe the consistency of it's distribution. Back in the day it was more (on time) but it's still a fine resource for sein fans.
ultimateberla: I agree it's probably one of the best resources we have on at least a monthly basis.
ultimateberla: Well I'd like to thank you again for taking the time out to be interviewed is there anything you'd like to add?
EpiphanyOfOne: Not a problem, We Love You Jerry!!!
Want to be the next person to be interviewed?
Send a e-mail to Berla
HEY, DO YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR TRIVIA QUESTIONS? SEND THEM TO ME!
****NOTE: ANSWERING JUST THE IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION DOES NOT MAKE YOU A TRIVIA
MASTER, SO PLEASE RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, NOT JUST ONE QUESTION! IF YOU DON'T
RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, I CAN'T GIVE YOU FULL CREDIT. (I WILL SEND BACK HINTS
IF ANSWER(S) ARE INCORRECT, SO TAKE A SHOT). THANKS!
LAST MONTHS TRIVIA - NAMES
1) Who thinks Jerry is a phony?
2) What was the name of the old man who moves people's cars to the opposite side of the street?
3) What are the names of his George's pretend horses?
-Snoopy and Prickly Pete
4) What was the name of the woman that George's brother once impregnated?
5) What was the first name of Elaine's father?
What is Mr. Peterman's first name?
THIS MONTHS TRIVIA - NAMES
1. Who did Elaine attempt to call numerous times in this episode?
2. What country did Elaine want to go to in this episode?
3. Where did the gang end up when the plane went down?
4. Which Cellblock did George end up in?
5. What was the last topic ever discussed?
What famous celebrity played Jay Crespi in the finale?
Respond to the trivia by sending E-mail to Shem
Responses must be received by Wed, May 21st.
Remember: you need to get ALL trivia right!
Don't just answer one, if you need help, e-mail me and I'll be more than happy as to give you hints.
Celebrities on Seinfeld
What former SNL star drove a YooHoo truck and lived in upstate New York? Oh,
he was also the Dad of the bubble boy.
What real-life friend of Jerry Seinfeld is in almost every Chris Rock movie
as well, played Maroon Golf (Lamar) in 'The Puerto Rican Day' parade? Hint:
He was in 'Down to Earth', 'Head of State', and 'Pootie Tang'.
Send answers to: Chris
by Wed, May 21st.
Remember the Time When...
Jerry threw his set?
Jerry: What's the deal with lampshades? I mean if it's a lamp, why do you want shade? And what's with people getting sick?
Newman: Hee hee! Yeah yeah!
Jerry: I mean, what's the deal with cancer?
Man in audience: I have cancer!
Kramer: Oh, tough crowd.
Kramer: You didn't do so bad.
Jerry: What are you talking about? I bombed!
Kramer: No, you had some good stuff. The cancer bit? It was edgy, it was not my sort of thing but some of those people out there, they really liked it.
Jerry: Like who?
Kramer: Like that guy who yelled out.
Jerry: He had cancer!
Kramer: And laughter is the best medicine.
If anyone has any ideas to make this better or moments that they want
"remembered," e-mail me
Ivy filling in
Last Month's Question:
If you could be ONE object in Jerry's apartment, what would you be, and why?
I'd select Jerry's fridge, always seems to have something everyone wants.
I would be the refrigerator so whenever kramer took something I could stop him or the doorknob because of kramer.
If I could be an object in Jerry's apartment, I would be the inside of his
refrigerator. So much of the action -- especially Kramer's antics -- take
place with one of them reaching inside the refrigerator. Remember, for
example, when Kramer was drinking from a carton of milk, then asked what the
date was, and started retching.
Looks like the most popular answer is the fridge, lol.
This Month's Question:
Ok, this month we're doing 2 polls.....1) Are you like Jerry where you put
the chocolate syrup in first or like Elaine and put the milk in first (The
Dog)? and 2) If you were Elaine, and you were watching Jerry's apartment
(while he was away), and the apartment were to catch on fire, what ONE item
would you save for Jerry and why?
Send all poll responses to: Ivy
by Wed, May 21st.
Note: The Seinfeld NL writers have the right to edit any poll responses that
we do not feel are appropriate for the Newsletter.
Do you know of a poll you would like seen on here?
and let me know!
Did you know? Seinfacts!
Shem filling in
In real life, the characters that Kramer and George are based on are neighbors.
Kramer would name his child Isosceles and George would name his Seven.
The first episode where Newman appeared was "The Suicide."
Julia Louis-Dreyfus has appeared in the televisions shows "Day by Day" and
"Saturday Night Live.
The guy that plays Maroon Gulf in "The Puerto Rican Day Parade" is Jerry's friend in real life and also a comedian.
Last month there was a mistake, this fact was from RoxySilverO5|at|aol.com and
not Zup. Sorry Roxy and thanks! Courtney Cox & Debra Messing were both Jerry's
girlfriend at one time. Now they own their own shows on NBC, once the network they started on.
Have a fact? Please e-mail me!
I transfered all my new stand up on my other computer, which is at someones
elses house. I really wanted to get this newsletter out, sooo, here's is some new stand up once posted before...
Commercials - Drug companies are very big on putting out some words, a new
word that they just came out with. And they like to just have commercials
that tell you their new word that they came up with. You know the type of
commercial I am talking about? You know when the guy gets in his car, looks
at his wife and says, "My doctor said Cram-It-All." And they just drive off.
- "You ask your doctor about cramitall! Whatever you got, only cramitall can
stop it!" -- I like the one they got with the woman riding on the horse,
close to the camera, thanking for Maxi.
Last month's Quote Loactor
"Fifteen minutes! I can make it happen!"
This Month's QuoteFinisher
"If every instinct you have is wrong..."
Send answers to: Shem
by Wed, May 21st.
Seinfeld's Good Manners
If you decide to wear a big gortex coat, be careful around glass bottles.
If you find out that your boyfriend was in an accident, do not stop to get candy before going to the hospital.
Kramer - Wanting to put levels in his apartment
Elaine - Having everybody in New York City wear a nametag
Jerry - Dumping a girl for eating her peas one at a time
Terms & Phrases
Mimbo - A male bimbo
What dessert did Kramer compare sex with Emily to?
What did George try to take from the police car in "The Trip, Part 2"?
Send Food Answers to: Oyeniran
by Wed, May 21st.
Please - no descriptions (if asked the name of an episode).
Send me the episode title.
This Month Cont.
The Script is still going around.
It's more than half way done...
If you would like to add a line, please e-mail me and let me know! :o)
You answer the questions in order to find the missing letters to form a
Character's Name. The Numbers' match up with the blank spaces.
"The" is considered part of the title.
The Character Name consists of 5 letters in the First Name and 5 letters in
the last name. (The spaces are in place so that you can see where the first name starts and the last name starts)
2-b=Babka; The dinner party
4-a=Kramer; the pothole
9-y=Dairy Queen; Millenium
The Game section is going to be alittle different for a couple months. I will
be giving out a very sweet prize. A few, in fact. Details will be on my
site, which you have to go to, to see "the deal." It's well worth it, so GO!
Go now! Seinology.com
Unscrambled the letters to answer the hint. Use the letter that goes in the
"O" slot from each answer to spell out what ties all the hints together.
1) TIYJSJURFU - What is Elaine's favorite candy?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ O
2) LITEOT REPPA - Elaine needs this.
_ _ _ _ O_ _ _ _ _ _
3) OFGL LABL - What does George find in the blow hole of the whale?
_ _ _ _ _ O _ _
4) RSAIP - Where does George want The Seinfelds to mail post cards for him?
_ _ _ _ O
5) MANONINC - According to Elaine which is the lesser babka?
_ _ _ _ _ _ O _
6) MNAD - What type of fool is Kramer considered to be?
_ _ _ O
7) YPFUF IHRTS - What does Jerry agree to wear on the today show?
_ _ _ O _ _ _ _ _ _
8) YTHTRI - What percent discount will Kramer's friend give George?
_ _ O _ _ _
9) VAIATLN HTRODOXO - What religion goes George change to?
_ _ _ O _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
10) EPI - What does Jerry's girlfriend refuse to eat?
_ _ O
All hints relate to this season? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, May 21st.
In "The Calzone," Todd Gak asks Jerry if he likes Cubans and Jerry replys by
saying that it will be a good gift for George's wedding. However, Susan's dad
gave George cubans before and he got nautious from them, and tried giving them to Jerry.
One of the last "did you know's" mentions that the cop in the "Cable Boy"
episode, calls Jerry "Steinfeld." Jerry was also called "Steinfeld" by the
"Independent Contractor" for the maid, the girl Jerry was also sleeping with.
The guy sees Jerry on the street and says "You Steinfeld?" I think that's the only other time they used that.
Vinney's Picks (or No Pick)
"The absolute worst. The worst."- Banyon
"You can stuff your sorries in a sack mister." - George
From the Fans
"Where the hell do you get the nerve? You invite me up for coffee and then
you don't call me back for four days? I don't like coffee, I don't have to
come up. I'd like to get one more shot at the coffee just so I could spit it
in your face." - George (Seinfeld10|at|aol.com)
"Wow. I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought
of taking mine off." - George (Seinfeld10|at|aol.com)
"Don't you see what Whatley is after? Total joke-telling immunity! He's
already got the big two religions covered. If he ever gets Polish
citizenship, there'll be no stopping him."- Jerry (Weezjam37|at|aol.com)
"Who among us hasn't snuck into the break room to nibble on a love-Newton."
Who said this?
It's J. Peterman.
"Mulva?" -George. What was Mulva's real name?
with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, May 21st.
GBA (God Bless America) guys!!!!!
The Bizarro World
Ivy's Seinfeld Page
Ian's Seinfeld Scripts
Swisher's Seinfeld Site
The End (A Seinfeld script)
What Went Wrong - And How It Should Have Ended
The Seinfeld Archiv
Matt's Seinfeld Sounds
Yahoo! Groups : jldfans
NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists
Have a Seinfeld Page?
it to Sein Language, the weekly Seinfeld newsletter!
Do you have any ideas to make this newsletter better and fresher? A new
section, maybe? A contest, perhaps? A weekly chat? A new design or page
layout? Anything! E-mail it to me at Seinfeld10|at|aol.com
That's a wrap for this week's issue of Sein Language. Don't hog the newsletter all to yourself, you're a very greedy person you know. You need to share with other people and force them to subscribe. As always if you want to send any of our writers a good word, do contribute to the newsletter in anyway with ideas or trivia questions, or heaven forbid, report an error, etc. We'd be more than happy to get your letters!
Ivy Chris Vinney Shem Jonathan Oyeniran Mike Berla