*Note: All back issues have been editted by 13erla
These edits have been done to help combat email spam
News-Sound of the Week-Silly Little Bios-Interview-Trivia-Games-Quotes-Standup-Spoofs-Food Trivia
October 8, 2001
The Weekly Seinfeld E-mail Newsletter
And Internet Newsletter: Sein Language Online!
(For NON AOL Subscribers!)
If you have received this newsletter directly from Seinfeld10|at|aol.com, you are on the mailing list, to be removed, Click here, then click yes. To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
I have a Mailing List...
All I send you is: upcoming episodes for the next 2 weeks.
(Great idea for those of you who are taping the show!)
To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
Remember: Those who don't have AOL, can click:
Sein Language Online!
(will be on later monday night)
MANY MANY MANY of you are asking me for Seinfeld episodes on tape. Now, I do have them, but I am not selling them nor taping them. I do not have the time. Sorry. However, there is a way we may be able to help, thanks to Chris. He made a so-called "trading club on yahoo." This is a great way for people from all over to trade/sell with one another. Here's the link:
Seinfeld Video Exchange
My boyfriend Mark has a FRIENDS newsletter. I write for it too. If you would like to subscribe, please e-mail me (Seinfeld10|at|aol.com) or Mark (CHINAND0L0R B0NG|at|aol.com).
Wishing you a happy b-day!
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If anyone has any news on Seinfeld or comments on the newsletter, we would love to hear them!
This Week On Seinfeld
Oct 9 Tuesday - The Pen
Oct 9 Tuesday - The Cadillac (Part 2 of 2)
Oct 10 Wednesday - The Parking Garage
Oct 10 Wednesday - The Shower Head
Oct 11 Thursday - The Cafe
Oct 11 Thursday - The Doll
Oct 12 Friday - The Tape
Oct 12 Friday - The Friars Club
Oct 13 Saturday - The Nose Job
Oct 14 Sunday - The Alternate Side
Oct 15 Monday - The Red Dot
Oct 15 Monday - The Wig Master
Oct 16 Tuesday - The Suicide
Oct 16 Tuesday - The Calzone
Oct 17 Wednesday - The Subway
Oct 17 Wednesday - The Bottle Deposit, Part 1
Oct 18 Thursday - The Pez Dispenser
Oct 18 Thursday - The Bottle Deposit, Conclusion
Oct 19 Friday - The Boyfriend, Part 1
Oct 19 Friday - The Wait Out
Oct 20 Saturday - The Boyfriend, Conclusion
Go here to find scripts for these episodes:
Thanks to Ian's Seinfeld Scripts
NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists
Pick Of The Week
Tuesday October 9
Elaine regrets accompanying Jerry on a trip to Florida to visit his parents. There are temperature control problems in the condo, a back breaking sofa bed, a slight overdose of muscle relaxants and the disposition of a pen that writes upside down.
Sound Of The Week
This Weeks Classic sound of the week is when Jerry's girlfriend walks in on George who had been in the pool (and the water was a little cold). Hope you enjoy everyone!
By the way, what did you all think about the new Bob Paterson show? I thought it was great!
Anyway, later on SeinFreaks!
What sound would you like to see featured?
E-mail me and I'll try my best!
The Top Ten Deaths
10) Gennice's Grandmother - No tears here [The Understudy]
"So, you cry when a hotdog falls on the floor, but not when you're grandmother dies?" Jerry
9) Aunt Clarice - George double dipped at the funeral [The Implant]
George needs a death-certificate copy to get the bereavement-rate plan fare. He tells a doctor that he's crafting a "scrapbook."
8) Marty Benson - 67 years old, caught cold when Richie dumped Gatorade on him [The Pez Dispenser]
Jerry: You know I thing Kramer might have been responsible for getting Richie involved with drugs in the first place.
Elaine: What? How?
Jerry: A few years ago the comedy club had a softball team. Kramer was our first baseman You couldn't get anything by him It was unbelievable. Anyway this one game we came back to win from like 8 runs behind. So Kramer says to Richie why don't you dump the bucket of Gatorade on Marty Benson's head? The club owner. So Richie goes ahead and does it.
Elaine: So? What happened?
Jerry: What happened? The guy was like 67 years old, it was freezing out, he caught a cold, got pneumonia, and a month later he was dead.
7) Grandpa - Left Jerry the clothes and statue [The Statue]
George: So how long has it been in the basement?
Jerry: Since my grandfather died. I was suppose to send it down to my parents in Florida, but they didn't want it. They told me to get rid of it, but I felt funny and then I sort of forgot about it. And it's been sitting down there for three years.. until he saw it. Alright, so, just take what you want and let's get it out of here.
George: What's in it?
Jerry: Grandpa clothes. I can't wear them.
6) Mental Patient - Jumped onto George's perfectly parked car [The Bris]
George: Yes, you see, the deceased landed on my car. The splat, as it were, actually took place on the roof of my car. I can't help but think that had it been a convertible this whole tragedy may have been averted but I've never been the type to buy a convertible, what with the baldness and all.
Mrs.Sweedler: Well I've known bald men who owned convertibles. They wore a hat.
George: Well then it's all pulled down. Anyway. The damage, unfortunately, has marred an otherwise fine automobile, rendering it virtually undriveable.
Mrs.Sweedler: Yes, well, that is a shame.
George: Yes, a shame. That's just how I would describe it. Now, with all due sensitivity and discretion, bearing in mind the scope of the situation, I can't help but think the hospital bears some responsibility to compensate the other, still living "victim," of this horrendous, horrendous tragedy.
Mrs.Sweedler: A man plummeted tragically to his ultimate demise..
Mrs.Sweedler: ... and you greedily, callously try to profit from it.
George: (Pulls out the estimate from his pcket) Well, profit. I think you'll see from the estimates that I'm not really profiting that much. They might be a little high, but..
5) Fredo - Poisoned by the key [The Strongbox]
Kramer: Hey, what's going on?
Phil: Fredo is dead.
Jerry: That strange Portuguese guy that lives next-door to the incinerator?
Phil: No! my bird. We just got back from the pet cemetery.
Jerry: Oh, Phil. Mrs. Phil. I'm so sorry.
Phil: Oh, I'll bet you are! They told us he was poisoned! Something in his food.
Jerry: But I, I didn't......Kramer, they think I killed Fredo! And who buries a bird?
Kramer: Yeah. Just give it to the Portuguese guy, and he... puts it in the incinerator.
Jerry: Just get the key and let's get out here.
Kramer: You know, it's a funny thing about that bird dying. I hid the key in Fredo's food dish. Whew! That's a weird coincidence.
Jerry: You killed Fredo!
4) Manya - Who comes from a pony country to a non-pony country [The Pony Remark]
Helen: She just had a check-up. The doctor said she was fine. Unless..
Helen: What? Nothing.
Jerry: You don't think.. What? The pony remark?
Helen: Oh, don't be ridiculous. She was an old woman.
Jerry: You don't think that I killed her?
3) Susie - Faked her suicide [The Susie]
Peterman: Elaine! Where's Susie? I want her to head up our new Fingerless Glove Division.
Elaine: Oh, but I thought I was in line for that assignment.
Elaine: All right, then, I was gonna wait, to tell ya this, but.. last night, Susie.. she took her own Life..
Peterman: Oh Elaine!
2) Gammy Kranz - Died but did not like a 'lazy eye' [The Maid]
Elaine: Bobby, you gotta stop calling your Gammy. Why? Because sometimes you call very early in the morning when Gammy has been out late the night before and sometimes when Gammy's not alone. Your parents still haven't said anything to you about your Gammy? (sighs) All right, here we go. (coughing) Gammy doesn't feel so good. I think Gammy might be dying. Yep. Yep. Ok. Good-bye, Bobby. Don't call anymore. I'm dead now. Gotta go.
1) Susan - Toxic poison on envelopes [The Invitations]
Doctor: Excuse me , Are you the husband?
George: Well, not yet.. FiancÃ©.
Doctor: Well, I'm sorry.....She's gone.
George: .........What's that?...
Doctor: She expired.
George: ...Are you sure?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
George: So.....She's dead?
Doctor: Let me ask you; Had she been exposed to any kind of inexpensive glue?
Doctor: We found traces of a certain toxic adhesive commonly found in very low priced envelopes.
George: Well she was sending out our wedding invitations.
Doctor: That's probably what did it.
George: We were expecting about two hundred people...Well...Thank you, thank you.
Do you have of a good top ten idea you'd like for me to do, please e-mail me!
The Stand In
This Week By: Jim
We all know Kramer loves to spend money for ridiculous purposes... What is your all-time favorite thing Kramer has spent money on?
The Hot Tub! I loved it! Who else would buy a hot tub and put it right smack in the living room?! :o)
the stupiest thing kramer has ever spent money on was Little Jerry Seinfeld a rooster that he thought was a hen so it could lay farm fresh eggs.
the coffee table ..but it was so cute though!!!
I'd have to say the Slicer is Kramer's funniest acquisition. Not happy with his own deli meat. But it wasn't just that he spent money on something that few individuals own, but all the funny things that accompanied buying the slicer- the way he got attached to it, the "kaiser rolls left in the stock room," deli slicing into George's new boss, the butcher's jacket which looked like a Dr. (Van Nostren) jacket, etc. The episode itself was hysterical, but not without Kramer's crazy idea.
I think the adopt-a-highway show where Kramer widened the lanes!
I loved the coffee table book and he had to spend some money to have it published and make, I also loved the macaroni people he made!!! I'm sure that wasn't much money spent, but I still loved it!!!
This week will be done by Jim. He chose to do a Top Ten. Well, in this case, he picked 12. :o)
The Top Twelve Movies Mentioned
(real or fake)
12) Rochelle Rochelle
11) Plan 9 from OuterSpace
10) The Muted Heart
9) The English Patient
8) Sack Lunch
6) Prognosis Negative
5) Ponce De Leon
3) Mountain High
2) Chow Fun
1) Shindlers List
Silly Little Bios
Ok, this week is going to be a tough one. She has a lot of toys that she inherited from her father when he died. He was a collector. She had an original G. I. Joe with a full frogman suit. The first time Jerry played with her toys, she didn't even know beacuse he gave her the wrong kind of medicine and she passed out! She also has the Matel Football game! Jerry and George went over to her house with an 18 pound turkey with tons of gravey. It had triptaphen, which made her sleepy, not to forget all the wine they gave her. She's capable of drinking a whole box of wine by herself! Well, they were planning on watching George's home movies of his boyhood trip to Michigan, four hours! Elaine came over one day to play with her EZ bake oven. Cupcakes anyone? Did I mention she won't let anyone play with her toys?
THEY ARE PRICELESS! :o)
Do you know who this is? If so E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, Oct. 15th.
The Lucky Person is...
Powerfulone2121 got interviewed this week!
Seinfeld10: Thank you Fanesha for taking the time to do this interview with me.
Powerfulone2121: You are very welcome. It is my pleasure.
Seinfeld10: Please tell me, who is your favorite character and why?
Powerfulone2121: Elaine.....totally Elaine. She is my idol. She is soooo funny and it's funny because she is so small but yet she can push people so far ..even into another room.
Seinfeld10: Yeah, I do love that "push." "Get Out!"....Do you think you can tell me one of your favorite "Elaine moments?"
Powerfulone2121: Oh wow......well I can mention two is that possible?
Seinfeld10: Yup. go ahead. :o)
Powerfulone2121: Well first you have to love her dance....I call it the seizure dance...lol I love it and I love it beacsue she doesn't notice....and last but not least.....I love it when she wants to cry but kind of holds it in..like one time she had to stay in her bosse's office to find the right socks for him and Jerry called and asked her if she could go with him somewhere and she was told by her boss no....and she made that face like she wanted to cry....lips quivering and everything...lol
Seinfeld10: Yeah, like the time she was fasting. Did you see those eyes?! She was going to cry any minute! LOL. Well, my favorite Elaine moment was when she was on the Subway getting ready to go to the lesbian wedding. Remember when it stopped and the lights when out? I've never seen someone more afraid and freaked out like she was at that very moment and yet it was HILARIOUS!
Powerfulone2121: I loved it because I loved the way she was screaming in her head...it was so hilarious....beacsue she reminded me of myself I do that a lot of times....I scream in my head when I don't want to be somewhere.
Seinfeld10: Haha, especially at a concert. In my head: These people! Stop touching me, get away! Man, they smell! LOL....I tend to act like Elaine a lot myself. She's great! So tell me, are you excited about her new show? Do you think it's going to suck like Michael's?
Powerfulone2121: Heyyyyy what new show? I didn't even know she was coming out with a new show!!!!!!! OMG my prayers have been answered..if it's her of course its going to be excellent ...She's a wonderful actress ...Common you can't even question about her success....She's good.
Seinfeld10: Yeah, but do you think she can do a show as good? And without the others? Yeah, her and Jason are coming out with a show, not together of course, but they each are coming out with a show.
Powerfulone2121: Yeah I know about Jason....I really hope his is good....and well um, Elaine is good, but I think she does need her mates...Let's just hope somehow she figures out how to make it works. But hey she's talented ...let's hope for the best!!!
Seinfeld10: Lets hope! So tell me, What is your overall favoite season and why?
Powerfulone2121: well....hummm. I cant put my finger on it. But I do like the old school Seinfeld mainly becasue that meant there was still a while before they took it off the air....I dont know why that happened.....But I still enjoy the reruns.
Seinfeld10: What about your favorite episode?
Powerfulone2121: Humm. My favorite episode..it would be when something happens to Jerry's uncle's eyebrows...so they have to paint them on with magic marker and everywhere he went they asked him why he looked so mad.....lol
Seinfeld10: Ah, that's The Package. That's also another good one with Elaine. She had a rash and the doctors kept saying she was being difficult.
Seinfeld10: And of course she was freaking out. :o)
Powerfulone2121: Yeah I remember that was one of the funniest things I had heard in my life....I loved his expression. I dont think he even noticed he looked mad.....lol
Seinfeld10: Nope, and that's why it was sooo funny! Please tell me, what is your favorite overall moment on the show and why?
Powerfulone2121: I loved it when Jerry cried..lol He was like what is this salty liquid....lol that showed me that unbelieveable but true Jerry ..had..a.. heart. awww. that was adorable.
Seinfeld10: Yeah, that was cute, but then again so is Jerry. Shhhh. :o)
Powerfulone2121: I know ...lol I thought I was the only one that thought he was cute...he has a certain thing to him...I can't explain it.
Powerfulone2121: lol....jerry is hot
Seinfeld10: Yeah, even though he's slightly getting older, he really is a good looking guy. And he's HOT for his age. :o)
Powerfulone2121: Yes indeed ..yummy yum and yum....lol
Seinfeld10: Well, I think that about wraps it up. So, any last words for the subbies out there?
Powerfulone2121: Well all I can say is that Seinfeld rules and we should make a strike asking them to put it back on.....lol i miss it..even thought I got reruns, I want new stuff!!!!!
Seinfeld10: Haha, yeah. Well, thanks again for doing this interview with me. Long live Seinfeld!!!! :o)
What to be the next person to be interviewed?
Put me on your buddy list and IM me anytime after 9 (eastern time).
Send a e-mail to Ivy
HEY, DO YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR TRIVIA QUESTIONS? SEND THEM TO ME!
****NOTE: ANSWERING JUST THE IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION DOES NOT MAKE YOU A TRIVIA MASTER, SO PLEASE RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, NOT JUST ONE QUESTION! IF YOU DON'T RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, I CAN'T GIVE YOU FULL CREDIT. (I WILL SEND BACK HINTS IF ANSWER(S) ARE INCORRECT, SO TAKE A SHOT). THANKS!
LAST WEEKS TRIVIA
1. What is the profession of Art Vandelay the first time George makes him up?
-Importer/Exporter (NOTE: Many of you thought it was architect, but it was George who pretended to be the architect, and he designated Art Vandelay to be the importer, and exporter, he's an importer/exporter).
2. True or False: The actor who played Jerry's father was the same throughout the entire run of the show.
-False, his father was played by a different actor in the second episode, first season... after that he was played by the same actor throughout the rest of the show's run.
3. What word did Jerry say that the "Lip Reader" miscontrued and took offense to?
-Six (misconstrued as Sex- "You got a problem with six?")
4. What word did the Lip Reader misinterpret when she was reading Gwen's lips for George at the party?
-Sweep (she misinterpreted it as sleep)
5. How did Jimmy break his leg in "The Jimmy?"
-He slipped on the water that Kramer dripped out of his mouth after having been "loaded" with Novacane.
JEFF PETE 808|at|aol.com
There were 5 different ways that Jerry tried to find out Mulva's/Dolores' name. Name 1 of them.
1) Talked about how kids made fun of his name in school (Jerry Jerry Dingleberry, Seinsmelled, etc.).
2) Looked through her purse to find her license.
3) Had Kramer introduce himself to her.
4) Had George introduce himself to her.
5) Peaked at the autograph from Olympia Dukasis on her Broadway Playbill.
Technically, I wasn't accepting this: "tried to rhyme her name with female body parts" because that was one of the ways he tried to FIGURE OUT her name ON HIS OWN, by guessing.
JEFF PETE 808|at|aol.com
JEFF PETE 808|at|aol.com
THIS WEEKS TRIVIA
1. Why did George have to give his new secretary a raise?
2. How much was George's secretary's raise?
3. Who did Kramer sell his suit to in Barney's?
4. What did Jerry try to retrieve from his dry cleaner (without the ticket which was in Kramer's pocket)?
5. Why did Elaine have to buy the dress she wore out of Barney's, when she walked out of the store to get an outsider's opinion of how she looked in it?
Name one of the ways that Jerry drugged Celia to make her fall asleep so he can play with her toys. NOTE: There were 4 of them.
Respond to the trivia by sending E-mail to Andy
Responses must be received by
Wed, Oct. 15th.
Remember: you need to get ALL trivia right!
Don't just answer one, if you need help, e-mail me and I'll be more than happy as to give you hints.
Celebrities on Seinfeld
Name the original creator of the Seinfeld Theme song?
He's very picky when is comes to SOCKS!
(Real name please)
Send answers to: Chris
by Wed, Oct. 15th.
What was the maestro's real name?
What charity did Jerry get audited for contributing to?
Send answers to: Allie
Wed, Oct. 15th.
Remember the Time When...
George tells his disappointment in Lupe?
George: I'm really disappointed in Lupe.
Jerry: It's been 3 days, forget about Lupe.
George: You think she gets to take any of those soaps home?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: Come on, when you hand out the paychecks at the end of the week, throw in a couple of soaps.
Jerry:: Maybe they should throw in a couple of lamps, too.
George: If I owned a company, all my employees would love me. They'd have big pictures of me up in their homes, like Lenin.
Jerry: So, how much you end up tipping her?
George: Oh, I forgot!
Jerry: Well, that's why communism didn't work.
(Thanks to nirbraves|at|yahoo.com)
If anyone has any ideas to make this better or moments that they want "remembered," e-mail me.
Last Week's Question:
Just tell me who is more likely to have a successful relationship- Jerry or Elaine (obviously we know they can't have a successful relationship with each other)... and remember, this is strictly a numeric poll so we're looking to see who gets the most votes. So you don't have to send explanations when you respond... just say "Jerry" or "Elaine."
This Week's Question:
This week, just tell me who you think most deserved to go to jail in "The Finale," Jerry, George, Kramer, or Elaine?
(CLICK ON A NAME)
Send all poll responses to: Andy
by Wed, Oct. 15th.
Note: The Seinfeld NL writers have the right to edit any poll responses that we do not feel are appropriate for the Newsletter.
Do you know of a poll you would like seen on here?
E-mail me and let me know!
Did you know? Seinfacts!
Mario Joyner, the opening act for Jerry at his concert, also appeared in "The Postponement" as Jerry's movie companion when George was unable to go because Susan wanted to see "The Muted Heart"
From "The Code", the Fred Yerkes character was actually a writer on the show named Fred Stoller. There was also another staff member named Jeffrey Yerkes and another producer named Jeffrey Stott: this probably explains Jerry's invisible cousin.
Have a fact? Please e-mail me!
"Laundry-day" is the only exciting day in the live of clothes. It is...no, think about it: the washing machine is the nightclub of clothes. Ya know, it's dark, there's bubbles happening, they're all kind a dancing around in there...shirt grabs the underwear: "C'mon babe, let's gather". You come by, you open up the lid and they'll: [shows how clothes are acting when you open the lid]...Socks are the most amazing article of clothing. They hate their lives, they're in the shoes with stinky feet, the boring drawers...the dryer is their only chance to escape and they all know it. They knew a escape from the dryer. They plan it in the hamper, the night before: [sock's voice] "Tomorrow, the dryer, I'm goin'...you wait here!" The dryer-door swings open and the sock is waiting up against the side wall. They hope you don't see him and then he goes down the road [shows how the sock is going down the road]. They got buttons sowed on their faces: join the puppet show...So they're showing me on television the detergent for getting out blood-stains...Is this a violent image to anybody? Blood-stains? I mean, I, come on, you got a T-shirt with blood-stains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now...Maybe you oughtta get the harpoon out your chest first.
Last week's Quote Locator
This Week's Quote Finisher
"If she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza...."
Send answers to: Andy
by Wed, Oct. 15th.
Seinfeld's Good Manners
Don't tell a little boy not to curse, and then 2 seconds later say 2 curse words to him in his mother's presence.
Frank - making a retraction on a dinner invitation
Morty - retracting a retraction on a dinner invitation
Terms & Phrases
Newman! - an exclamation made when your ex-girlfriend comes out of toxic gas with chunky wrappers and you realize who gave you fleas
(Thanks to nirbraves|at|yahoo.com)
What candy did Elaine buy at the movie theater after she found out her boyfriend was in an accident?
(not to be confused with JuJuBees)
What kind of food did the Constanza's bring to the Ross's that they did NOT serve?
Send Food Answers to: Allie by Friday, Oct. 5th.
Please - no descriptions (if asked the name of an episode).
Send me the episode title.
Here's an episode guide that may help (Episode List)
In "The Stranded," Elaine says to a fur wearer that she is a vegetarian, except on the rare occasion that she eats fish. However, Elaine does eat meat, like in "The Soup Nazi" when she tells Jerry and George that she could go for a cheeseburger.
in episode 77 (the dinner party) while jerry and elaine are waiting for their babka, jerry eats a black and white cookie, as he is talking to elaine, watch as the camera changes position and the black and white colors magically switch sides on the cookie (black goes from left side to right, or vise versa) i don't know how i noticed that but after i rewinded the tape and watched again, i realized that it is pretty obvious, so i thought i'd let you know.
Know of a spoof, any mistake you found on Seinfeld?
Please e-mail them to anyone of us, thanks!
Ivy Chris Vinney Allie Andy
Vinney's Picks (or No Pick)
"Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want men who know the body. We just want the body."- Jerry
"You know who you are? Even Steven." - Kramer
From the Fans
"Yeah, right, like I don't know I'm pathetic." - George
Send in your quotes! Click here.
From the Previous Week
BCALLALILLY|at|aol.com got the answer Ric the car salesman correct. I overlooked it in one of my senior moments. Sorry!
"They thought I was George. I'm not that bald."
Who said this?
It was Elaine's balding boyfriend Kurt.
"The four of them made a wager to see if they couldâÄ¶.to see who could go the longest without gratifying themselves! It was horrible! Horrible!"
Do you know who (a name) this is? If so E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, Oct. 15th.
GBA (God Bless America) guys!!!!!
Dr Kramer's Page
The Page of The Wiz
The Bizarro World
Ivy's Seinfeld Page
All Pursuits Seinfeld
Ian's Seinfeld Scripts
Charlie's Seinfeld Page of Sounds and Stuff
The Seinfeldest Site On The Web
Swisher's Seinfeld Site
The End (A Seinfeld script)
What Went Wrong - And How It Should Have Ended
Have a Seinfeld Page?
Submit it to Sein Language, the weekly Seinfeld newsletter!
Do you have any ideas to make this newsletter better and fresher? A new section, maybe? A contest, perhaps? A weekly chat? A new design or page layout? Anything! E-mail it to me at
That's a wrap for this week's issue of Sein Language. Don't hog the newsletter all to yourself, you're a very greedy person you know. You need to share with other people and force them to subscribe. As always if you want to send any of our writers a good word, do contribute to the newsletter in anyway with ideas or trivia questions, or heaven forbid, report an error, etc. We'd be more than happy to get your letters!
Ivy Chris Vinney Allie Andy