*Note: All back issues have been editted by 13erla
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News-Sound of the Week-Silly Little Bios-Interview-Trivia-Games-Quotes-Standup-Spoofs-Food Trivia
January 6, 2002
The Bi-Weekly Seinfeld E-mail Newsletter
And Internet Newsletter: Sein Language Online!
(For NON AOL Subscribers!)
(will be on later monday night)
If you have received this newsletter directly from Seinfeld10|at|aol.com, you are on the mailing list, to be removed, Click here, then click yes. To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
I have a Mailing List...
All I send you is: upcoming episodes for the next 2 weeks.
(Great idea for those of you who are taping the show!)
To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
Remember: Those who don't have AOL, can click:
Sein Language Online!
(will be on later monday night)
(The first week of the newsletter)
Monday night chat & Tuesday night chat (Jan. 7 & 8). Both at 9pm eastern.
Monday night will be held on my web page in the chat room.
Ivy's Seinfeld Page (and click on chat room). It will be hosted by Dfrank1068 (Frank) and myself. It will be a Seinfeld chat and trivia.
Tuesday night will be held in a chat room on AOL. Yeah, sorry guys, this is only for AOL subcribers. It will be held in Arts and Entertainment - Seinfeld Trivia. This too will be hosted by Frank and myself, but this will be ALL trivia! So, see you all then. :o)
I need a favor from all of you. Well, this is actually to those who have seen Jerry live this past year. I am trying to gather as much of his new stand up as I can. I have quite a lot so far, but I would like more. As much as you could think of would be great, anything in detail. Take your time and try to remember. Please send anything you can think of to me! Thanks a bunch!
MANY MANY MANY of you are asking me for Seinfeld episodes on tape. Now, I do have them, but I am not selling them nor taping them. I do not have the time. Sorry. However, there is a way we may be able to help, thanks to Chris. He made a so-called "trading club on yahoo." This is a great way for people from all over to trade/sell with one another. Here's the link:
Seinfeld Video Exchange
Wishing you a happy b-day!
Sein Language would like to wish YOU a Happy Birthday!
If you would like to receive a birthday greeting on your special day, please e-mail Seinfeld10|at|aol.com (or click here) with your first name and your b-day.
If anyone has any news on Seinfeld or comments on the newsletter, we would love to hear them!
This Week On Seinfeld
Jan 6 Sunday - The Maestro
Jan 7 Monday - The Wink
Jan 7 Monday - The Deal
Jan 8 Tuesday - The Hot Tub
Jan 8 Tuesday - The Note
Jan 9 Wednesday - The Soup Nazi
Jan 9 Wednesday - The Truth
Jan 10 Thursday - The Secret Code
Jan 10 Thursday - The Dog
Jan 11 Friday - The Pool Guy
Jan 11 Friday - The Library
Jan 12 Saturday - The Sponge
Jan 13 Sunday - The Gum
Jan 14 Monday - The Rye
Jan 14 Monday - The Pen
Jan 15 Tuesday - The Caddy
Jan 15 Tuesday - The Parking Garage
Jan 16 Wednesday - The Seven
Jan 16 Wednesday - The Cafe
Jan 17 Thursday - The Cadillac (Part 1 of 2)
Jan 17 Thursday - The Tape
Jan 18 Friday - The Cadillac (Part 2 of 2)
Jan 18 Friday - The Nose Job
Jan 19 Saturday - The Showerhead
Go here to find scripts for these episodes:
Thanks to Ian's Seinfeld Scripts
NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists
Pick Of The Week
Wednesday, January 9, 2002--The Soup Nazi
While on their way to the " soup place" Elaine finds an antique cabinet she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to get his soup from the " Soup Nazi." Elaine isn't allowed to move her cabinet into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry's sweet talking with his current girlfriend. Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the " Soup Nazi," gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In broad daylight and in Kramer's presence, two guys come along and take the cabinet. Kramer relates the story of the cabinet to the " Soup Nazi," who says he has a cabinet in the basement that Kramer can have. Jerry's girlfriend makes a faux pas in the " soup place" and Jerry disavows any knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact. George and Susan see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner and they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates that George is showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the cabinet and tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the " Soup Nazi" but gets even further on his bad side. Jerry discovers the cabinet contains the " Soup Nazi's" recipes and Elaine takes them for the final confrontation.
Sound Of The Week
Well, even though the holiday season is now behind us this week's sound of the week is to celebrate Festivus with how the holiday came to be! Hope you all had a happy holiday season and a festivus for the rest of us!
What sound would you like to see featured?
E-mail me and I'll try my best!
Top Ten Counts
Ok, I couldn't think of anything else to name this :o)
10) "The Chinese Woman"
Elaine: That's nice...Listen, Kramer, you know, if you ever want to have kids you shouldn't wear briefs. Boxers are much better for your sperm count.
Kramer: Sperm count? Well how many sperms should I have?
Elaine: A lot.
9) "The Maid"
Elaine: Ahem. 646? What is this?
Phone Man: That's your new area code.
Elaine: I thought 646 was just for new numbers.
Phone Man: This is a new number.
Elaine: No, no, no, no. It's not a new number. It's--it's--it's just a changed number. See? It's not different. It's the same, just...changed.
8) "The Dog"
Elaine: Yeah. So I've been here about six years.
George: Eighty-six, eighty-seven, eighty-eight, eighty-nine, ninety, ninety-one...Yup.
7) "The Revenge"
George: I'm gonna count to three. If you don't give up the chair, the wig is coming off.
Glenda: I don't' wear a wig.
6) "The Dealership"
Puddy: Lets finish this up.
Jerry: Did you two break up?
Puddy: That chicks whacked. Were history. I just left out a couple of things: rust-proofing..
Puddy: Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finders fee
Jerry: Finders fee? It was on the lot!
Puddy: Yeah, thats right. Floor mats, keys..
Puddy: How ya gonna start it?
5) "The Apology"
Elaine: So guess who called me last night? Jason Hanke.
George: 'Stanky Hanke'? What did he want?
Elaine: He called to apologize for standing me up five years ago.
Jerry: Why now?
Elaine: A.A. It's one of the Twelve Steps. Step number Nine is you have to apologize to anyone you've ever wronged.
4) "The Lip Reader"
George: You're parents saw me on TV?
George: This is a nighmare. Kramer how long was I on?
Kramer: It felt like 8 seconds.
George: One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand.
3) "The Subway"
Elaine: Why couldn't I take a cab. For 6 dollars my whole life changed. What is that on my leg? I'll never get out of here. What if I'm here for the rest of my life? Maybe I'll get out in 5 seconds. 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana, 5 banana...no, I'm still here! Still here! Why don't they start moving? Move! Move!! Move!!!
2) "The Bookstore"
Newman: You know, when you think about it, it's kind of silly for us both to pull this thing all the way back uptown. I mean, after all, it is a conveyance.
Kramer: Yes, that's true.
Newman: So, which one of us is gonna pull?
Kramer: Well, there's only one way to settle this. One spot, two spot, zig, zag, tear, pop-die, pennygot, tennyum, tear, harum, scare 'em, rip 'em, tear 'em, tay, taw, toe..
1) "The Statue"
Jerry: Inka-dink, a bottle of ink. The cork fell out, and you stink. Not because you're dirty, not because you're clean - just because you kissed the girl behind the magazine.. (He lands on Kramer, then completes the rhyme) And you are it! (Lands on George).
Do you have of a good top ten idea you'd like for me to do, please e-mail me!
The Stand In
Last Week By: SugarPlumbFairyJ
This Week By: PearlJamNaural
1) What is George's middle name?
2) What is Elaine's middle name?
3) What is Susan's middle name?
4) What does the J in J. Peterman stand for?
- Giacomo "J"
5) Who did the voice for George Steinbrenner?
- Larry David
Thanks again to SugarPlumbFairyJ!!!!!
PearlJamNaural (Mark) decided to do a "Remember When?"
Elaine is still trapped in a stopped train?
Elaine's voice: Oh, this is great. This is what I need, just what I need. Ok, take it easy I'm sure it's nothing. Probably rats on the track, we're stopping for rats. God, it's so crowded. How can there be so many people? This guy really smells, doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city? What is so hard, you take the cap off, you roll it on. What's that? I feel something rubbing against me. Disgusting animals, these people should be in a cage. We are in a cage. What if I miss the wedding? I got the ring. What'll they do? You can't get married without the ring. Oh, I can't breath, I feel faint. Take it easy, it'll start moving soon. Think about the people in the concentration camps, what they went through. And hostages, what would you do if you were a hostage? Think about that. This is nothing. No, it's not nothing, it's something. It's a nightmare! Help me! Move it! Com'on move this fu(beep) thing!! Why isn't it moving?!? What can go wrong with a train!?! It's on tracks, there's no traffic! How can a train get stuck. Step on the gas!! What could it be? You'd think the conductor would explain it to us? I'm sorry there's a delay we'll be moving in 5 minutes!! I wanna hear a voice. What's that on my leg?!
*Lights in the train go off*
*Elaine is in a stopped train with no lights.*
Elaine's voice: Why couldn't I take a cab. For 6 dollars my whole life changed. What is that on my leg? I'll never get out of here. What if I'm here for the rest of my life? Maybe I'll get out in 5 seconds. 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana, 5 banana...no, I'm still here! Still here! Why don't they start moving? Move! Move!! Move!!!
*Train starts moving, lights get back on*
Elaine's voice: It's moving! It's moving! Yes! Yes!!
*Train stops again and lights go off*
Elaine's voice: Motherfu(beep-beep)!!!
Silly Little Bios
The guy in the wheelchair
This week I'm raising the stakes a little higher, can anyone remember the name of the hooker who Jerry had to pay off inorder to get her to leave his apartment? He was later arrested for that also.
Do you know who this is? If so E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed., Jan 16th.
The Lucky Person is...
PierceMeAgain10 got interviewed this week!
Seinfeld10: Thank you Tina for taking the time to do this interview with me.
PierceMeAgain10: It's my pleasure!
Seinfeld10: So please tell me Tina, you living in New York and all, ever been to any of the "Seinfeld locations?"
PierceMeAgain10: Yes, I have. I've been to Tom's Restaurant and the soup kitchen. Tom's restaurant looks way different than the way it is on the show. It's really cool though. The soup kitchen does have the best soup and the guy is so similar to the soup nazi!!
Seinfeld10: What did you order at the soup kitchen? :o)
PierceMeAgain10: I ordered crab bisque. It was soooo good!!!! Jerry wasn't kidding, it does make your knees buckle!!!
Seinfeld10: LOL. No jumbalaja? (Sp?) haha
PierceMeAgain10: LOL!!! No, it's too spicy for me!!!!
Seinfeld10: I would love to go there one day and check out all the loactions, or at least the most popular ones.....So tell me, who is your favorite character and why?
PierceMeAgain10: That is such a hard question. I'm going to have to say they are all my favorite characters. I am like all 4 of them. I'm paranoid, I analyze everything until it barely exists, I listen to the things people say and i pick apart every word!! i'm just like all of them in similar ways!! I would say i'm most like george but without the cheapness.
Seinfeld10: Ah, I see. George, what a character! So, what is your favorite episode? This I know is an even tougher one.
PierceMeAgain10: Very tough!!! I love them all.......let's see, I loved the soup nazi episode, the one when elaine is jealous of george getting married, the little jerry, the pez dispenser, the junior mint, the one with bette midler.......the list goes on!
Seinfeld10: Wow, nice list you got there. So, tell me.....Jerry has a huge, large variety of stand up, all of which I love soooo much....do you have a favorite that he does?
PierceMeAgain10: I really enjoyed when he was on HBO shortly after "Seinfeld" ended. I like all his stand up.
Seinfeld10: Do you have a favorite one in particular that you like?
PierceMeAgain10: I have to say I like the live stand up on HBO the best. He did a good job with that one. He is great with all his stand up. He makes jokes about reality. That's exactly what it is.
Seinfeld10: Do you have a favorite BIT that he does?
PierceMeAgain10: A favorite one? It's so hard to single out!!! They are all my favorite. Let's see, the one that first came to mind is when he was saying how it's funny how people move their furniture by themselves and they stuff some things in their car and then they cover it with a blanket so no one will see what's in the car. Then he goes, "yeah, like you can't tell that there's a big tv set under that blanket."
Seinfeld10: One of my favorites is the one with the mattress. "Ever see these guys? You have a car...and a mattress on the hood. Their driving, and you always see their hand holding it down. Ever see this? They're like, if this mattress flies off going 50 miles per hour - I got it! I got it!" - Something like that. I love that one. It's sooo ture though, b/c you always see this, and you never even think about it.
PierceMeAgain10: lolol!! Exactly, that's what i mean!! He makes reality funny!!
Seinfeld10: "Go to the beach, put your wallet at the toe of the shoe. Robbers never think to look there!!" LOL
PierceMeAgain10: lololololol!!! That is so funny!
PierceMeAgain10: I remember that.
Seinfeld10: That's what I love about Jerry! He's the best! The best Jerry, the best!
Seinfeld10: Oh boy! He's another character! "Soup is the meal!!!"
PierceMeAgain10: LOL!! I loved the one when he bought Kramer's suit.
Seinfeld10: Yeah, Kramer in the dressing room naked, almost, lol.....Well, Tina I think that's about all the time we have for tonight. Anything you would like to say to the readers? :o)
PierceMeAgain10: I loved the one also when elaine's doctor keeps writing stuff in her chart about her behavior
Seinfeld10: Me difficult? How can I be difficult? LOL.
PierceMeAgain10: Yes, I'd like to say, "watch Seinfeld all the time and you'd be surprised how it can cure some emotional problems!!"
Seinfeld10: Thanks again!
PierceMeAgain10: Kramer cracked me up when he had a pipe hanging out of his mouth and he said to the secretary, "hi, i'm doctor vanostrand from the neo meyer clinic in belgium" lol.
PierceMeAgain10: Ok, no problem.
What to be the next person to be interviewed?
Put me on your buddy list and IM me anytime after 9 (eastern time).
Send a e-mail to Ivy
HEY, DO YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR TRIVIA QUESTIONS? SEND THEM TO ME!
****NOTE: ANSWERING JUST THE IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION DOES NOT MAKE YOU A TRIVIA MASTER, SO PLEASE RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, NOT JUST ONE QUESTION! IF YOU DON'T RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, I CAN'T GIVE YOU FULL CREDIT. (I WILL SEND BACK HINTS IF ANSWER(S) ARE INCORRECT, SO TAKE A SHOT). THANKS!
LAST WEEKS TRIVIA - GAMES!
1) In The Stakeout, what game was Jerry and his mom playing where Kramer phrased the line, "Quone: to quone something?"
2) What game did Kramer and Newman play that they took very seriously?
3) In the Cigar Store Indian, what card game was Elaine and her friends playing?
4) What game was George and the Bubble Boy playing?
- Trivial Pursuit
5) What game is played by Jerry's penis and brain to determine if he should date a woman?
What game did Estelle and her friends play in The Handicapped Spot?
- Mah Jong
THIS WEEKS TRIVIA - MOVIES (Real or fake)
1) George had to read this book for a book club. Instead, he watched it at someone's home.
2) What movie did Elaine find incredibly boring, that all of her friends loved?
3) What movie did we see George cry over?
4) This is a giveaway! - Jerry was caught making out duing what movie?
5) "Don't you want to know how they got in the bag?" Elaine
"When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but for different reasons altogether." - Kramer
Respond to the trivia by sending E-mail to Andy
Responses must be received by
Wed., Jan 16th.
Remember: you need to get ALL trivia right!
Don't just answer one, if you need help, e-mail me and I'll be more than happy as to give you hints.
Celebrities on Seinfeld
What star of the "Beverly Hills Cop" Trilogy and Beethoven's 3rd played Elaine's boyfriend who always took the Seinfelds out while they were in New York?
What fashion tycoon put Kramer in his add as an underwear model where you could see, well...something?
Send answers to: Chris
by Wed., Jan 16th.
Sorry, but Allie was unavailable this week.
Remember the Time When...
Kramer brings Jerry over the Puffy Shirt?
KRAMER: You're not going to believe what happening with Leslie. You know, ever since you agreed to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show, she's been getting
all these orders from boutiques and department stores..
JERRY: Uh-huh.... Since I said what?
KRAMER: Agreed to wear the puffy shirt.
JERRY: What are you talking about?
KRAMER: When you said that you'd agree to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show.
JERRY: I agreed to wear this?!
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah.
JERRY: But, when did I do that?
KRAMER: When we went to dinner the other night.
JERRY: What are you, crazy?!
KRAMER: What were you talking about when I went to the bathroom?
JERRY: I don't know! I couldn't understand a word she was saying! I was just nodding!
KRAMER: There you go.
JERRY: Where I go? You mean she was asking me to wear this ridiculous shirt on national TV, and I said 'Yes'?!
KRAMER: Yes, yes! You said it!
JERRY: But, I - I didn't know what she was talking about. I couldn't hear her!
KRAMER: Well, she asked you.
JERRY: I - I can't wear this puffy shirt on TV! I mean, look at it! It looks ridiculous!
KRAMER: Well, you gotta wear it now! All those stores are stocking it based on the condition that you're gonna wear this on the TV show! The factory in New Jersey is already makin' them!
JERRY: They're making these?!
KRAMER: Yes, yes. This pirate trend that she's come up with, Jerry, - this is gonna be the new look for the 90's. You're gonna be the first pirate!
JERRY: But, I don't want to be a pirate!
Thanks to Tingrin1884
If anyone has any ideas to make this better or moments that they want "remembered," e-mail me.
Last Week's Question:
In The Deal, Jerry had a hard time finding something for Elaine's birthday. Being in the position that he was in, and if you were Jerry, what would YOU have gotten Elaine for her birthday?
edible panties...its the gift that keeps on giving
I'd get her a little fish tank with two gold fish in it since her goldfish died while looking for kramer's car.
A teddy bear...I mean really, you can't go wrong with a teddy bear for a woman...Chicks dig stuffed animals.
I'd have given her airline tickets to Baltimore and two lower-level seats for an Orioles game.
She's always wearing that Orioles cap, and she went to school in Maryland.
This Week's Question:
If Jerry weren't a standup comedian, what job would he best be suited for? Be original and creative, have fun with this one.
Send all poll responses to: Andy
by Wed., Jan 16th.
Note: The Seinfeld NL writers have the right to edit any poll responses that we do not feel are appropriate for the Newsletter.
Do you know of a poll you would like seen on here?
E-mail me and let me know!
Did you know? Seinfacts!
Sorry, but Allie was unavailable this week.
Have a fact? Please e-mail me!
I am so tired of having to come up with another little outfit for myself every day. In fact, I will say this - and I think many people agree with me - I think eventually fashion won't even exist.
I think someday we'll all wear the same thing. Becasue anytime I see movie or a TV show where there are people from the future or another planet, they're all wearing the same outfit. Somehow they all decided, "All right, that's enough. From now on, this going to be our outfit. One piece silver jump suit, with a V-stripe on the chest, and boots. That's it. We're going to start visiting other planets and we want to look like a team."
Last week's Quote Locator
"When you control the mail, you control....information!"
What episode is this from?
The Lip Reader
This Week's Quote Finisher
I don't want to be remembered...."
Send answers to: Andy
by Wed., Jan 16th.
Seinfeld's Good Manners
Don't find your x-girlfriend an apartment over yours.
Kramer - Having Japanese business travelers sleep in his dresser drawers.
Kramer - Wood on the walls to make it look like a wood cabin.
Terms & Phrases
Library Cop - a gung ho, hardened former police officer who is deputized as a library law enforcer by the NY Public Library, and chases down library delinquents (especially if their book was overdue in excess of 20 years)
Sorry, but Allie was unavailable this week.
In "The Cheever Letters", Jerry and George sit down to write their show. But, in "The Virgin", which is set 2 weeks later, George tells the woman in the bar that they have a meeting the following day and that NBC must approve the idea before they can write it.
In "The Bubble Boy," Elaine and Jerry go to a restaurant right by the bubble boy's house. They have never been there before, but as soon as they get there, Jerry orders something for him and Elaine, without even looking at a menu.
Know of a spoof, any mistake you found on Seinfeld?
Please e-mail them to anyone of us, thanks!
Ivy Chris Vinney Allie Andy
Vinney's Picks (or No Pick)
"You see my dear all registered mail is certified, but all certified mail is not necessarily registered." - Newman
"I hate rental cars. Nothing ever works: the window doesn't work, the radio doesn't work ... and it smells like a cheap hooker." -Jerry
From the Fans
"With Darren's help, we'll get that chicken!" - Kramer
"Pinko Commie Rag!!"- Morty Seinfeld, referring to the Boca Breeze, the Del Boca Vista Condo Association Newspaper (from JCBriggs2|at|aol.com)
Send in your quotes! Click here.
"(Name)? - Euro-trash." - Jerry
Who was Euro-trash? This is a tough one.
"So I made an explosive out of chick peas and stopped that rhino in his tracks." Who made the explosive. Hint: It wasn't Richard Reid.
E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed., Jan 16th.
GBA (God Bless America) guys!!!!!
Dr Kramer's Page
The Page of The Wiz
The Bizarro World
Ivy's Seinfeld Page
All Pursuits Seinfeld
Ian's Seinfeld Scripts
Charlie's Seinfeld Page of Sounds and Stuff
The Seinfeldest Site On The Web
Swisher's Seinfeld Site
The End (A Seinfeld script)
What Went Wrong - And How It Should Have Ended
Have a Seinfeld Page?
Submit it to Sein Language, the weekly Seinfeld newsletter!
Do you have any ideas to make this newsletter better and fresher? A new section, maybe? A contest, perhaps? A weekly chat? A new design or page layout? Anything! E-mail it to me at
That's a wrap for this week's issue of Sein Language. Don't hog the newsletter all to yourself, you're a very greedy person you know. You need to share with other people and force them to subscribe. As always if you want to send any of our writers a good word, do contribute to the newsletter in anyway with ideas or trivia questions, or heaven forbid, report an error, etc. We'd be more than happy to get your letters!
Ivy Chris Vinney Allie Andy