*Note: All back issues have been editted by 13erla
These edits have been done to help combat email spam
News-Sound of the Week-Silly Little Bios-Interview-Trivia-Games-Quotes-Standup-Spoofs-Food Trivia
January 29, 2003
The Monthly Seinfeld E-mail Newsletter
And Internet Newsletter: Sein Language Online!
(For NON AOL Subscribers!)
If you have received this newsletter directly from Seinfeld10|at|aol.com, you are on the mailing list, to be removed, Click here, then click yes. To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
I have a Mailing List...
All I send you is: upcoming episodes for the next 2 weeks.
(Great idea for those of you who are taping the show!)
To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.
Remember: Those who don't have AOL, can click:
Sein Language Online!
(will be on later WEDNESDAY night)
NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!
Where are they now?
Kramer (Michael Richards) is in London, in a play, Arsenic and Old Lace. In a quaint Victorian house in Brooklyn, Abby and Martha Brester have quietly poisoned twelve old men and buried them in the cellar. Their nephew arrives, a conman with yet another corpse and mayhem. A timeless classic on Broadway and the West End. Micael Richards plays Jonathan Brewster. Click here: Whatsonstage.com - the UK's leading performance arts guide
George (Jason Alexander) is in Los Angeles, doing many things, keeping himself busy. Not too long ago he was in The Man Who Saves Christmas, a holiday TV Movie, which I thought was great. There was How To Go On A Date In Queens, which I'm not too familiar with. I think he's still teaching at the college, and he's also starring with Martin Short in The Produers, the new Mel Brooks musical, which begins May 2nd. Click here: The PRODUCERS the new MEL BROOKS musical | Los Angeles
Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) is still all over. He's still on tour. Still doing his thing. If anyone would like to find out if he's going to be near you, simply go to ticketmaster.com and type in Jerry Seinfeld.
Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) as many of you know had he own TV show, Watching Ellie. Rumors are, that during the spring time they are going to air the re-runs again. I'm not sure about it though, that's just a rumor.
Did you know that Jerry has proceeded to tear down the 33 million dollar house he bought from Billy Joel on Long Island? The only thing Jerry left standing is the pool!! Nice life when a 30 million-plus dollar house isn't good enough for you. :)
Can I suggest the show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" to all you Seinfeld Heads out there. Funny as hell...same type of humor as in Seinfeld. Main character is Larry David, the writer for Seinfeld.
Someone sent me an e-mail asking me to find out if cell phone usage was used at all on the show. I deleted the e-mail, so I don't remember your name, I'm sorry, but maybe you are reading this now. As far as I know, there was a lot of car phone usage. That's not necessarily a cell phone. Now, the only time I can actually recall a cell phone being used is in The Final, when Elaine was calling Jill. In The Hot Tub the texas "bastards" called George from the plane, don't remember if it was a cell phone or not there...But now that I'm thinking about it, in The Bottle Desposit when Kramer and Newman were in the mail truck following Jerry's car, Kramer called Jerry at home. Now, I'm not a mailman, but I don't think they keep car phones in their trucks, so maybe it was a cell phone there as well.
Ok, this all started on the alt.tv message board, Seinfeld of course. Someone wanted to sell Seinfeld DVD's, but no one trusted him, because they didn't know who he was, about the quality, etc...So, I told him if he were to send me a sample of what he's selling, I would review it for everyone. Well, here is my review. He is selling 9 Seinfeld DVD's, not VCD's, and not JPEG, these are actual DVD's. They have menus and everything. Each menu on each disc is different. Like one has Jerry, one Elaine, etc...different designs. Now, you're wondering about quality, well, they aren't a 10. These are copied from VHS tapes. They are very watchable, and the picture is good. I think overall I would have to give it at least a 7. But keep in mind, these are put on a DVD disc and NOT VCD, so you can watch these in any DVD player. Now, you are wonering about price, well, of course I can't post that here, but what I can tell you, is that it's a very very good deal. And the first 12 people that e-mail him, would get an even better deal. Maybe he will even slide if there's more, hehe. But I will tell you this much, I don't know when it will ever be released for sure on "real" dvd, but to have these it's really worth it. Now, to get the inside "deal" you MUST put COSMO on the subject line of his e-mail to him. That's the "secret code." His e-mail address is: customdvd|at|gamebox.net
For those of you who are music fans or who are looking at
getting into the music biz, check out www.InsideTheMusicBusiness.com
they have tools for success - and it's run by a Seinfeld fan, Eric Kline
MANY MANY MANY of you are asking me for Seinfeld episodes on tape. Now, I do have them, but I am not selling them nor taping them. I do not have the time. Sorry. However, there is a way we may be able to help, thanks to Chris. He made a so-called "trading club on yahoo." This is a great way for people from all over to trade/sell with one another. Here's the link:
Seinfeld Video Exchange
Wishing you a happy b-day!
Sein Language would like to wish YOU a Happy Birthday!
If you would like to receive a birthday greeting on your special day, please e-mail Seinfeld10|at|aol.com (or click here) with your first name and your b-day.
If anyone has any news on Seinfeld or comments on the newsletter, we would love to hear them!
Sound Of The Month
This is one of the funniest quotes that George has ever said, when he is telling the story about the beached whale and his attempts to be a marine biologist. I really love this one. Hope everyone is having a great New Year and still watching plenty of Seinfeld!
What sound would you like to see featured?
E-mail me and I'll try my best!
Top Twelve Kramer's Crazy Ideas
(It was hard to pick 10)
12) The time he converted his apartment into that old talk show and treated everyone like guests.
11) Da Vinci Sleep--20 minutes every three hours, based on Leonardo's supposed slumber patterns.
10) The Bro--a Bra for chesty men.
9) "The Beach" cologne that was later stolen by Calvin Klien and then Kramer went in to complain and ended up modeling in his underwear.
8) A fleet of rickshaws pulled by New York CIty's homeless.
7) Turning his front door into the "All American front porch."
6) Kramer stopped at an office to use the restroom and then just started working there. He was "TCB" - taken' Care of Business.
5) Adopting a highway and cleaning it himself, even washing the traffic signs in Jerry's kitchen sink.
4) Putting Kramerica Industries to work developing a rubber bladder for oil tankers to prevent oil spills.
3) PB&J's, serving only peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.
2) The reverse peephole on his door, so that he could check in his apartment before entering, thus avoiding an ambush.
1) Opening a chain of make-your-own pizza restaurants.
Do you have of a good top ten idea you'd like for me to do, please e-mail me!
The Stand In
Last Month By: five55_filk|at|hotmail.com
This Month By: MKadlub|at|aol.com
Seeing that there's no Seinfeld DVD's out, and no word on when or if they will come out, how about if we were to customize our own DVD?! It will be compiled from everyone's favorite episodes and the TOP TEN, creme-DE-la-creme will make it.
Well, here is the final list, the subscribers top ten list! (In no particular order)
The Bizarro Jerry
The Dinner Party
The Soup Nazi
Remember when Kramer saved the pinky toe?!
Kramer: What did you go up there to heckle her for?
Jerry: Because she came down to the club and heckled me! Give her a taste of her own medicine! <George enters.>
Kramer: Oh, YEAH! You gave her a taste of medicine, alright.
Jerry: Well, I didn't want her to have an accident.
George: What accident?
Kramer: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.
George: That's unbelievable!
Kramer: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
George: You ran?
Kramer: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."
George: Holy cow!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " <Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut> - knocked him out cold!
George: How could you do that?!
Kramer: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.
George: You're Batman.
Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept makin' all the stops?
Kramer: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!
George: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?
Kramer: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.
George: You did all this...for a pinky toe?
Kramer: Well, it's a valuable appendage.
If you would like to do the Stand In section, please e-mail me!
News Guys' lists
Hello Sein fans! My name is Mike, some call me the News Guy. I have a web page: NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists compiled of different listings, with much help and thanks to the many members of the newsgroup, alt.tv.seinfeld. These include cars that were mentioned on the show, the clothes worn, the crimes that occurred, the food eaten, the movies that were watched, and so on. I also have an episode guide and a lot of scripts! I would like to compile more to the site with your help. And of course if you have any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to hear them.
As we know, Seinfeld used many themes and common threads in the long history of the series. By exploring these lists I hope it will give us a better insight into the brilliance of this show. Last month was religion. This month we're going to compile two sets of lists. Send me everything and anything you can think of that mentions sizes and coffee mentioned. Thanks! :o)
So please e-mail me with any sizes and coffee references that you can think of: Mike by Wed, Feb. 26th.
Check back soon on NewsGuys Seinfeld Lists to see the results.
Silly Little Bios
What appliance store owner who lost a leg in a boating accident did Jerry accidently impersonate after his foot fell asleep then set the store on fire?
Do you know who this is? If so E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, Feb. 26th.
The Lucky Person is...
MKadlub got interviewed this month!
Seinfeld10: Thank you Michael for taking the time to do this interview with me.
MKadlub: Not a problem at all IVY
MKadlub: Whenever I get a chance to kibitz about Jerry and the gang, I love it.
Seinfeld10: So, you're a big Seinfeld fan, eh? lol - What would you say is your ultimate favorite Seinfeld moment?
Seinfeld10: I know it's a toughy! :o)
MKadlub: Hmmm... that is so tough, sorta like asking a mother which child is her favorite.... But I would have to say when Kramer comes into Jerry's apartment and says "I'm OUT, thats right, I am out of the contest"
MKadlub: Or when Kramer says "I feel like a naked innocent boy roooooaming the countryside"
Seinfeld10: I know it was a hard one. I actually have a favorite Elaine moment. Remember her on the sub way, when she was freakig out? I loved it. She almost sounded like somehting I would do, lol. "Doesn't anyone shower? What's that on my leg? !|at|#$%!!!!" LOL
MKadlub: "Stop touching ME!!"
MKadlub: On her way to a lesbian wedding
Seinfeld10: "One banana two banana, three banana." haha...YUP!
MKadlub: Funny Funny stuff.... She is so adorable. While she may not be your typical model type actress, she has that sophisticated sexyness about her that I love.
Seinfeld10: So...tell me, who are your favorite parents on the show?
MKadlub: Favorite parents would have to be Frank and Estelle
MKadlub: Love it when Frank wants to move to Del Boca Vista just to spite Morty Seinfeld.
Seinfeld10: Can't Stand Ya LOL
MKadlub: "We are moving in Lock Stock and Barrel.... We are gonna be Alllll over the shuffleboard courts"
Seinfeld10: They are a great match! You know they are coming out with a Meet the Parents sequel - Meet the Fockers. What do you think about making the two (Estelle and Frank) to play his parents? lol. Ben Stiller, the perfect son, lol.
Seinfeld10: I mean it is his real dad and all, but I think it would be great as a movie, lol.
MKadlub: I am laughing here just imagining how funny that would be on the Big Screen.
Seinfeld10: You would get some good laughs, I'll tell you that much, hehe. So tell me...have you ever seen Jerry LIVE? And if so, what did you think about his show?
MKadlub: As a matter of fact, I saw him last month when he came to Cleveland. It was everything I expected. He is still the King of Standup.
Seinfeld10: I saw him twice, and let me tell you, I would see him again! He's great! And he looks good too!
MKadlub: Oh yeah.. probably still fits into those size 30 jeans.. err I mean 32
Seinfeld10: Ok, before we end this....lets play alittle something I like to play - word association. Ready?
MKadlub: Giddy Up mochamba
Seinfeld10: lol...Ribbon Bullies
MKadlub: "Chew don't wanna wear da ribbon?"
MKadlub: Helllllllooooooo Jerry
Seinfeld10: Ok, last one....Quone
MKadlub: "You know... when you really quone for something." Scrabble challenge
Seinfeld10: Good replies. Well, thanks again for taking the time to do the interview with me. Is there anything you would like to say to the readers?
MKadlub: I send out weekly Seinfeld Trivia (Jerrvia) with graphics and pictures of the stars incorporated into the trivia. If anyone would like to be added to the list, please email me at Jerrvia|at|crmcoachtech.com
Seinfeld10: Nice plug, hehe. Thanks again! :o)
What to be the next person to be interviewed?
Send a e-mail to Ivy
HEY, DO YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR TRIVIA QUESTIONS? SEND THEM TO ME!
****NOTE: ANSWERING JUST THE IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION DOES NOT MAKE YOU A TRIVIA MASTER, SO PLEASE RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, NOT JUST ONE QUESTION! IF YOU DON'T RESPOND TO ALL TRIVIA, I CAN'T GIVE YOU FULL CREDIT. (I WILL SEND BACK HINTS IF ANSWER(S) ARE INCORRECT, SO TAKE A SHOT). THANKS!
LAST MONTHS TRIVIA - COUNTRIES
1) What country is Babu from?
2) What country to Mr. Petermanescape to when he needed to get away?
-Burma or Myanmar
3) What country did Elaine vacation with her psychiatric boyfriend?
-All we know is that she went to Europe, I didn't catch this mistake when I sent the question, so if you gave me any country in Europe, you got credit
4) What country supposidly had a cure for baldness?
5) Which country did Kramer want to go to in the last episode?
What country was Jerry's gymnast girlfriend from?
THIS MONTHS TRIVIA - COLORS
1) What color was the couch that Poppy peed on?
2) What color was Golden Boy's son?
3) What color was the lining of Jerry's suede jacket?
4) What color was the car that Jerry bought from Puddy?
5) What color did George's face turn in "The Heart Attack?"
Puddy was going to sell a different color car to Jerry than he wanted. What color is this?
Respond to the trivia by sending E-mail to Shem
Responses must be received
by Wed, Feb. 26th.
Remember: you need to get ALL trivia right!
Don't just answer one, if you need help, e-mail me and I'll be more than happy as to give you hints.
Celebrities on Seinfeld
What actor who has played roles in Spiderman and the new movie Red Dragon (which I've seen and is great!) play Judge Arthur Vandelay in the Finale? (Yeah I'm in a Finale mood today ;) )
What star of Office Space and News Radio, who also had a role in O Brother Where Art Thou, played the bank manager who gave Kramer the $20?
Send answers to: Chris
by Wed, Feb. 26th.
Remember the Time When...
Newman tried to go on the Paris trip?
Newman: Hello, Jerry.
Jerry: Hello, Newman. What gives?
Newman: I was speaking earlier with Kramer, and he mentioned something about a private jet to Paris?
Jerry: Yeah, that's right.
Newman: Well, uh, I hear it's quite beautiful there this time of year, and of course, you know I'm 1/4 French.
Newman: Oh, yes. In-in fact, I-I still have family there. This probably won't interest you, but I have a cousin there who's suffering very badly.
Newman: She has lost all use of her muscles. She can only communicate by blinking. I would so love to see her.. bring a ray of sunshine into her tragic life. But, alas, I can't afford it, for I am, as you know, but a simple postal worker.
Jerry: That's a shame.
Newman: Take me! Take me, Jerry!
Jerry: Oh, forget it! Pull yourself together! You're making me sick! Be a man!
Newman: All right! But hear me, and hear me well! The day will come, Oh, yes! Mark my words, Seinfeld! Your day of reckoning is coming when an evil wind will blow through your little play world and wipe that smug smile off your face! And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching - watching as it all comes crumbling down!
If anyone has any ideas to make this better or moments that they want "remembered," e-mail me.
Last Month's Question:
Kramer has a wild imagination, we all know that. Well, your job is to name the craziest thing Kramer wanted to invent.
The peanut butter and jelly restaurant called PB&J's
Craziest thing Kramer wanted to invent.... a pizzeria where you make your own pie!! XoxAnGeL DaPxoX|at|aol.com
He wanted to bring back the exceuntior jacket Jerry's dad wore. RoxySilverO5|at|aol.com
LOL, it's really hard to pick just one, they're all so ridiculous. :) I guess I would have to say...either the Roll-Out Tie Dispenser or the restaurant that only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, LOL. :)
the best would probably be the reverse peephole. the very idea is so pointless, and every time i watch that seen when kramer falls cause he doesnt know who's at the door. its just hilarious how he gets neuman to do it too.
Once Kramer tried to return a half eaten peach to the grocery because he did not like how it tasted.
make your own pizza place
This Month's Question:
Who are your favorite parents -
Costanzas or the Seinfelds and why?
Send all poll responses to: Jonathan
by Wed, Feb. 26th.
Note: The Seinfeld NL writers have the right to edit any poll responses that we do not feel are appropriate for the Newsletter.
Do you know of a poll you would like seen on here?
E-mail me and let me know!
Did you know? Seinfacts!
Kramer's mom works as an attendent in a bathroom.
Elaine has an unseen sister in St. Louis.
Jerry's mechanic who steals his Saab due to Jerry's neglect towards it, plays 'Robert' in 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.
Jerry went out with a woman just for sex and couldnt end it?
Julia Louis-Dreyfus played in National Lampoon's Christams Vacation with
Have a fact? Please e-mail me!
Divorce - I'm not just masculine, I know feminine too. Woman think, well, marriage is a big change in life. You need to have a huge event. Divorce is a big change, how about we go to that? And I would go to that. I would be there, in my sweats and t-shirt. Well, I'm not surprised...I saw this coming before the desert came out. I'd like to get my gift back if I could. But if you attend a divore you see, there's an excellent chance you're ceremoney for something is going to last. It's very rare that you hear about a divorce that didn't work out.
Tone - The main problem I am having, is the problem I think many men will find out, when living with woman, is...I am speaking in the wrong tone of voice! What? What did you say? Your tone! Yes my tone. What's wrong with my tone?! Is it too high? Too low? Too soft? Too Sad? The truth is, when the male is persuing the female, he does tend to speak in a softer voice...And I think we use this tone because we know it reassures the nervous, jittery female. It relaxes her, comforts her, and...makes her think that we will fit in well with the other little stuffed animals on her bed. - Any guy I know would just say "FINE, WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE HAVING?" Anyone woman would say, "Why are you yelling at me?" Guy - "I'M NOT YELLING."
Last month's Quote Locator
"If it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books."
The Book Store
This Month's Quote Finisher
"Big lettuce, big carrots..."
Send answers to: Shem
by Wed, Feb. 26th.
Seinfeld's Good Manners
When you accept a date with a woman, make sure that you know her name.
When eating at your girlfriend's house, do not stuff the food into the pockets of your jacket with her grandmother's napkins and then give it to someone so they can be chased by dogs.
George - Combining sex, food and televison.
Kramer - going to the track to bet on a horse rather than pay $600 in traffic tickets
Elaine - pretending to be deaf to avoid conversation with the limo driver
Terms & Phrases
Manziere - a bra created for older men who have excess flab in the upper chest area and give the appearance of having breasts
What did Jerry order throughout the episode "The Soup" that he couldn't get at Reggie's?
Winners were lost, sorry
What dish did Elaine insist that Jerry not order in "The Stock Tip" that George ends up ordering?
Send Food Answers to: Oyeniran by Wed, Feb. 26th..
Please - no descriptions (if asked the name of an episode).
Send me the episode title.
Here's an episode guide that may help (Episode List)
This Month Cont.
The Script is still going around.
It's more than half way done....
If you would like to add a line, please e-mail me and let me know! :o)
License plates! We all remember Kramer and the mistake with the license plates, ASSMAN. Now, picture this......You have a car......you need to customize your license plate.....You have 6 characters to chose from....What's yours going to read? (Seinfeld related) PICK ONE PLEASE! Have fun!
The responses were not sent to me, so I would like to try this game again, along with another game as well.
Send me your license plate responses AGAIN please.
Ok, this game was asked to be done by Birdnuts17|at|aol.com. And this is very very challenging....Elaine has been with many many many men on the show. Your job is to list for me every single man she's been with. Good Luck! :o)
Send responses to: Ivy
by Wed, Feb. 26th.
The alley where Kramer gets pulled down by lots of people during the aids walk, (The Sponge) is the same alley where Kramer gets pulled down by a bunch of kids after his karate class. And its the same ladder he tries to climb both times.
In "The Bris," Jerry asks Elaine if she has ever seen a circumsized male body part. But, of course she has because she went out with Jerry who has one.
Vinney's Picks (or No Pick)
"Why is he obsessed with Ovaltine"?- Abby
"He thinks anything that dissolves in milk is funny."- Jerry
"If every instinct you have is wrong then, the opposite has to be right." - Jerry
From the Fans
"You want a Christmas card, you want a Christmas card...OK here, here's your
Christmas card"! - Elaine
"It's not considered stealing if it's something that you need" - Morty
"Take the pen. I don't want the pen!" - Jack
"Don't be silly. Just crease, crumple, bend. You'll do just fine." - Why did Newman say this?
It was Newman's respose when Jerry did his mail route and he could figure out how to put the mail in the mailboxes.
"Overture, curtain, lights; this is it, we'll hit the heights; and oh what heights we'll hit! On with the show this is it!" -Jerry
Jerry sings this song. What TV show was the song from?
E-mail me with your answer!
Responses must be received by Wed, Feb. 26th.
GBA (God Bless America) guys!!!!!
Dr Kramer's Page
The Bizarro World
Ivy's Seinfeld Page
All Pursuits Seinfeld
Ian's Seinfeld Scripts
Charlie's Seinfeld Page of Sounds and Stuff
Swisher's Seinfeld Site
The End (A Seinfeld script)
What Went Wrong - And How It Should Have Ended
The Seinfeld Archiv
Matt's Seinfeld Sounds
Yahoo! Groups : jldfans
Have a Seinfeld Page?
Submit it to Sein Language, the weekly Seinfeld newsletter!
Do you have any ideas to make this newsletter better and fresher? A new section, maybe? A contest, perhaps? A weekly chat? A new design or page layout? Anything! E-mail it to me at
That's a wrap for this week's issue of Sein Language. Don't hog the newsletter all to yourself, you're a very greedy person you know. You need to share with other people and force them to subscribe. As always if you want to send any of our writers a good word, do contribute to the newsletter in anyway with ideas or trivia questions, or heaven forbid, report an error, etc. We'd be more than happy to get your letters!
Ivy Chris Vinney Shem
Jonathan Oyeniran Mike