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Author: peerless baun
ZOOM OUT TO GROCERY STORE WITH GRAND OPENING SIGN IN
JERRY AND GEORGE ARE WALKING, GEORGE GRABS A CART
What are you doing, just get a cart inside?
No way, the prime carts are out here my friend.
Whatta you mean?
Whenever I go inside I get stuck with that one cart
where the wheel doesn't quite turn and it makes that little sound, you know rreerree rree.
But that ones all wet.
Trust me, it's worth it.
JERRY SEES KRAMER BY A COINSTAR MACHINE, WITH A
What's with the drum?
Oh, Newman tells me these things cheat you out of
change, I'm here to expose.
Expose Jerry, expose!
I've tried it before it seemed to work fine.
That's because it does.
Sure, with small amounts of change, the big bucks,
that's where it gets you. I'm counting one by one, they'll slip, you watch.
All right see you later.
Yeah, , .
GEORGE HEADS DOWN AN ISLE WHILE JERRY HEADS TOWARD
GEORGE LEAVES HIS CART TO GRAB SOME CHEF BOYARDEE
PASTA; A STORE EMPLOYEE GRABS HIS CART AND WALKS AWAY. GEORGE LOOKS UP TO SEE
WHERE IT WENT AND HE'S GONE
GEORGE WALKS TO THE FRONT TO GRAB A NEW CART, SEES
So how's it goin'?
Aww so far its exact, I'm
having doubts you know.
Hang in there.
GEORGE GRABS THE LAST CART, AS HE WALKS IT IS JERKING
TO THE LEFT, RREE RREE RREE
You see this?
Oh yeah, rree rree rree, I get mine outside.
So do I!
JERRY THINKS TO HIMSELF
"This is a really nice bathroom, they have
everything and it's all automatic. The toilet can flush itself even if you’re
forty feet away, the hand dryer has different
temperature settings, the store can afford all this, but not a single
AS JERRY EXITS THE REST ROOMS HE BUMPS INTO ELAINE
I'm not that impressed; all this place has is food.
(PAUSING WITH A STARE)
I know but.
INTERRUPTED BY SAME STORE EMPLOYEE IN GEORGE'S
Excuse me miss, you've been standing around for about
a half-an- hour and you don't plan on buying anything do you?
I'm just looking.
I'm not sure where you shop normally but we encourage
Well maybe I'll take my business elsewhere.
No, I don't think so.
You can't resist a grand opening, why don't you get
yourself a cart?
JERRY STILL LOOKING AT THE BATHROOM TRAILS A FEW
ELAINE AND JERRY BOTH THINKING TO THEMSELVES
"I should speed up, I don't like trailing
"Should I slow down, he's a little behind"
"Naw if I catch up people would take me as some
kind of a speed walker, to good to walk at a normal
"Why doesn't he just speed up?"
ELAINE STOPS AND JERRY SPEEDS UP PAST HER, THEN THEY
WALK TOGETHER AS THOUGH NOTHING HAD HAPPENED
GEORGE IS PUSHING HIS CART, KNOCKING OVER DISPLAYS,
BUMPING INTO PEOPLE, USING HIS ENTIRE BODY TO STEER
It's not my fault, the wheel sticks.
I'm not making it up, listen to the rree rreerree, you can't fake an rree
GEORGE SEES HIS GOOD CART
That's my good cart!
This was abandoned.
No really, it's my cart.
Maybe at one time.
Can I have it back?
Sorry, a man over at the coinstar requested it.
We'll see about this.
JERRY AND ELAINE PASS KRAMER
You know what I'm just gonna go ring my milk up and
I'm starving, I'm gonna go over to the deli and get a
sandwich, Elaine can you watch my coins?
KRAMER IS ALREADY GONE
JERRY PUTS HIS MILK ON THE BELT. THE MAN IN FRONT OF
HIM PUTS DOWN THE DIVIDER.
Excuse me, why the divider?
It's just that, my item was not that close to your
goods, I don't see the problem.
The problem is I don't want the clerk to ring it up
on my bill.
You don't think I'd stop them?
So you're saying I would let you pay for my milk then
just take off screaming and jumping with joy that I scammed you into buying my
HE GRABS A FIVE OUT OF HIS WALLET AND THROWS IT ONTO
THE BELT, THEN GRABS THE GUYS POTATO CHIPS ALONG WITH HIS MILK AND RUNS OUT OF
(FROM A DISTANCE)
Where's your divider now?!
ELAINE IS WATCHING THE COINSTAR AS THE EMPLOYEE
FOLLOWED BY GEORGE APPROACHES
"what is that
RREE RREE RREE
Make that sound stop!
RREE RREE RREE
ELAINE TURNS SHARPLY KNOCKING COINS INTO THE MACHINE
KRAMER RETURNS TO SEE THIS
What are you doing? Did you keep count?
ELAINE GIVES A DISCOURAGING LOOK
Ruined, I'm ruined!
(BITING HER LIP)
rree rree rree.
MUSIC PLAYS OUT
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