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The Dollar Store
The Dollar Store

by J.S. aka puffyshirt

Jerry‚s apartment. Jerry and George are inside talking. Kramer bursts in the
door with a flyer for a new dollar store.

Kramer: Look Jerry! (waves flyer in JerryŒs face) There is a new dollar
store. Those places are a scam. Everything in there is not a dollar, or it
is not worth a dollar and way overpriced.

George: (to Kramer) Let me see that flyer

Kramer hands the flyer to George.

George: This is perfect! I need to get my new girlfriend a birthday present.
I‚ll get her something there she won‚t know the difference.

Jerry: Yes, she will George a lot of things in those stores are cheaply

George: Let‚s ask Elaine if she wants to go. I want to get her opinion on
what to pick out for my girlfriend.

Dollar store. Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine enter. The dollar store is
stocked with cheap items and big ticket items.

Kramer: Jerry, I‚m going to check this place out. I want to see what I can
really get for a dollar.

George: Elaine, I need your help. I want to pick out something classy for my
girlfriend‚s birthday.

Elaine: You know if I was your girlfriend I wouldn‚t accept a present from a
dollar store.

George: Well, if I make it look nice she doesn‚t have to know.

George and Elaine walk down an aisle. George picks up a box and hands it to

George: What about this it looks fancy?

Elaine: It‚s too cheap and the box is spelled wrong it says „Jewelry Bax‰.

George: We can just take it out of the box.

Kramer is in an aisle stuffing a bunch of items in a shopping basket.

Jerry is walking down a food aisle. He picks up a bag of candy.

Jerry: (thinking to himself) (reading)„Candy that tastes like soap.‰ Who‚s
going to buy this?

George and Elaine are down a stationary aisle.

George: What about this nice planner?

Elaine: This planner has a silly message on it. (reading) „The elegance of
the sopication of the planner.‰

George: She won‚t notice that message. Let‚s get her on more thing.

Jerry picks up a storage container

Jerry: (thinking to himself)(reading)‰Good pot, Making your food produce.‰
Kramer finds a lamp a fancy Tiffany style one. He picked it up and puts it
in his basket.

George and Elaine are looking at a clock.

George: (holding up a clock facing Elaine) This clock looks expensive.

Elaine: George, this clock doesn‚t look that bad

George: This is wonderful I bought my girlfriend 3 presents and it only cost
me three dollars!

Elaine: Your girlfriend is going to know. Hey, look there‚s Jerry!

Jerry walks to Elaine and George.

Elaine: (to Jerry) Aren‚t you going to buy something?

Jerry: Nope, I couldn‚t find anything I liked.

Jerry, George, and Elaine hear yelling from the register. They all look over
and see Kramer.

Kramer: (shouting and pounding the counter) You can‚t tell me I can‚t get
all this stuff for one dollar!

Cashier: (with a heavy foreign accent) I told you already each item is a
dollar and that lamp you have is thirty dollars. Didn‚t you see my sign on
the wall? (points to sign)(reading) „Some items are over a dollar.‰

Kramer: (pushing items off the counter) I‚m never coming here again! This
place is a scam!
Kramer storms out of the store and slams the door.

Jerry, George, and Elaine get up to the counter.

Cashier: Can you believe that guy? Thinking you can get a whole bunch of
stuff for one dollar.

Jerry: The nerve and stupidity of some people.

George pays for his items and leaves the store all excited.

Kramer: (standing outside the store yelling) This place is a scam! Don‚t
shop here! (turns around and sees George) (to George) I can‚t believe you
bought something there.

The owner of the store sees George talking to Kramer

Cashier: Hey you!

Kramer and George both point to themselves.

Cashier: Yes both of you! You are banned from my store!

George: (yelling) No! Look what you did Kramer you had to mess it up! Now I
can‚t shop here anymore!

Kramer: It‚s ok buddy I can get you some good deals on stuff.

George and his girlfriend are in a fancy restaurant.

George: (handing his girlfriend a wrapped box) Here this is for you. Happy
Birthday! (smiles)

Haley opens up the box and takes out the planner.
Haley: (reading) „The elegance and sopication of the planner.‰ George, where
did you get this planner?

George: (pulls collar nervously, stammering) At a store.

Haley: What kind of store, George?

George: Just a store.

Haley: You bought this at a dollar store didn‚t you?

George: No, no, I bought it in a regular store.

Haley: You think I wouldn‚t know that planner and the clock and the jewelry
box are from a dollar store? I take my grandmother shopping at a dollar
store! Take your cheap three dollar gifts back! (throws the box of gifts
back at George and storms out of the restaurant)

George: (begging) Wait! Don‚t leave I‚ll get you a real present!

Jerry, George, and Elaine are at Monks.

Jerry: (to George) So how did it go with Haley‚s birthday presents?

George: (frustrated with his hands on his forehead) Horrible!

Jerry: Did she find out?

George: (mumbling) Yes.

Jerry and Elaine laugh.

George: Apparently she takes her grandmother shopping at a dollar store and

Elaine: I told you.

George: And now that I‚m banned from the store I can‚t return the gifts I

Jerry: But it was only three dollars.

George: Yeah, but I want it back.
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